


Second Chance

by meblue



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: A little noren ㅋㅋ, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, But it's there, Character Death, Don't worry, Going back in time, I can't stand sad endings too, I don't know why I'm doing this to myself, M/M, Pining, angsty, kind of thing, not for long, slow burn kinda?, so..
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-01
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-06-20 02:10:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 30,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15523764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meblue/pseuds/meblue
Summary: Haechan is very loud.Mark doesn’t like loud kids. They are annoying.That’s what 10 year old Mark thought.OrA story where Haechan died and Mark really wants to turn back time just to make things right.-------One thing in his mind right now, the familiar voice saying it over and over.“Hyung.. I think I’m in love with you.”





	1. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know why I like to make obvious titles lol. Just so you know, I’m suck at making titles, if you didn’t know that already. ㅎ_ㅎ
> 
> Soo I try writing a new story*it’s not a part of the series ㅋㅋ* and this one will be chaptered! ;) 
> 
>    
> \-----  
> I decided to add songs to listen to when reading this fic, sometimes it’ll be the melody or sometimes it’ll be the lyrics that fits into the chapters, but either way, it was a subjective pick from me so sorry if it doesn’t really fit you. I try putting the songs before and after every chapter*hopefully*, because a lot happened in one chapter right? One song is not enough to express the whole chapter ㅋㅋㅋ
> 
> Enjoy~

~~~

Taeil (Block B) – It was love

~~~

The bell rings.

Mark goes to open the door, his mom walking not too far behind him. When he opened it, there’s a woman standing in front of him with a cake on her hands.

“Hi! Good morning! I and my son here..” She looked to her left and seemed a bit surprised to find nobody there. Mark almost laughed at that expression she’s making. Almost.

She turned her body a little and yelled “Haechan come here!” Mark follows where she was looking at and he sees a boy running around on their front yard.

She turned her body back after the boy come standing next to her. “I wasn’t looking just for a second, Haechan, a second!” she nags him, but the boy didn’t seem to be listening to her though, instead he looked at Mark curiously.

Seeing her son’s attention is clearly somewhere else, she decided to just continue the greetings “So, I and my son Haechan, just moved next door, -” “Hello!” the kid said excitedly, smiling wide. She turns her head for a brief second to give Haechan a smile and continues “and we just made this cake, here, please take it as our greetings to you” she said, smile still intact.

“Oh! It looks nice! Thank you.” Mark’s mom returned the big smile and takes the cake, then she turns to Mark “Please introduce yourself too, Mark.” She said to him.

“Hello, I’m Mark. I’m 10 years old. Nice to meet you.” He said while bowing his head.

“Aww, what a polite boy. I hope you can be friends with Haechan, he’s just a year younger than you. He’s 9.” She said smiling wide, while patting his head. _What a bright smile_. Mark thought.

“Of course.” Mark said, smiling politely. And the boy, Haechan, smiled widely upon hearing Mark’s words. Mark can see the resemblance between them. _Their smiles are very similar. It’s really, really bright._

\-------

 

Haechan follows Mark everywhere after that, whether it in school or just when Mark was playing with his friends, and he’s sorry to say this, but he found it kind of annoying. Haechan’s just so loud. Mark doesn’t like loud kids. They’re annoying, sometimes shameless, they’re just drawing too much attention.

He did say that he wanted to be friends with the kid, but he started to get sick of having Haechan following him everywhere.

Until one time, he was just so annoyed he pushed Haechan to go away, but he accidentally pushed him too hard and Haechan fell to the ground. “Don’t follow me!” he said. They were at the park, Mark was playing with his friends, and as usual, Haechan followed him.

He can see that Haechan is surprised by the sudden harsh treatment and the smile that adorned his face earlier died down, it replaced with a frown.

No matter how annoyed Mark is with the boy, he still felt guilty that Haechan fell, so he help him up.

“Sorry..” he said quietly.

“It’s okay hyung” Haechan said that but Mark can see the tears already forming in his eyes.

“Are you hurt anywhere?” he asked, genuinely worried.

“No.. I’m okay..” Haechan shakes his head.

“So why are you crying?” he asked, while looking at Haechan’s face closely.

“I’m not crying..” Haechan quickly wipes his eyes. “See?” he smiled. Mark couldn’t help but smile at that too.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Mark asked again.

“Yeah! I’m okay hyung!” Haechan said, his cheerful voice is back.

“Okay then.. if you say so.” He’s not in the mood to play anymore. “Um, let’s just go home?”

Haechan nodded. “Can I come to your house hyung?”

Mark would feel bad if he said no after what happened. “Uhm.. sure..” he said, but just as he was about to walk, Haechan grabs his sleeve.

“Hyung is a good person, I really want to be friends with hyung” Haechan said and pecked him on the cheek. Mark is shocked. He wanted to get angry at Haechan, he thought that he was just messing with him, but when he saw the sincere smile on Haechan’s little face, with his twinkly eyes, Mark’s anger disappeared. He thinks maybe it’s just Haechan’s way of saying thank you.

\-------

 

It became a habit. Haechan always comes to his house to play, and the younger would peck his cheek everytime they meet.

It’s not a problem when they were kids, but now they’ve grown up, Mark’s on his last year of junior high for god’s sake, and people started to give them looks.

But their friends liked it though.

 

“Come here hyuung~ Lemme kiss youuu~” Haechan said while making kissy faces, pushing his body towards Mark, trying to kiss him, while Mark trying to push him away by putting his hand on Haechan’s head.

All of their friends laughed at the sight, they’re used to it. Haechan is always so clingy to Mark. It’s fun to watch how Haechan would just cling to Mark or try to kiss him and Mark would try to avoid it as best as he can.

“Aww don’t be shy, Mark hyung~” Chenle said.

“Yeah, it’s okay~ we’re used to it, we don’t mind your PDA around here.” Jeno added.

“What the hell guys!” he turned his head to his friends to give them a glare before turning it back to Haechan. “Haechan, enough!” he said to him.

Haechan stopped pushing then. “Okay..” he said. But just as Mark putting his hand that was on Haechan’s head down, Haechan quickly leaned forward and peck him on the cheek.

“Aww~” come all the squealing.

“I didn’t know that I was friends with a bunch of squealing schoolgirls” Mark sighed.

 

They went to the same school since Haechan moved in town. Haechan is one grade below Mark, but he always plays with Mark and his friends, Jeno and Renjun. Sure Haechan had other friends, many of them actually, but he always liked to follow Mark everywhere, so it required him to play with Mark’s friends too. And now, he’s just casually hanging out with them like he belonged there in the first place. His closest friends, Jaemin, Chenle and Jisung, even joining them now. They just become this one group of boys, that he personally liked to call ‘The Dreamies’.

\-------

 

It was one of those days where Mark stays in school until it’s dark, he’s preparing for the upcoming exams. A girl came up to him when he was about to stand up from his desk in the library.

“Uhm, sorry. Can we maybe.. talk for a second? I have something to tell you.”

 _Okay, that was sudden._ Mark knew this girl, they’re in the same class. And she has quite the fame too. But Mark didn’t really ‘know’ her beside her name.

She has such a fair skin Mark could see that her face was bright red from blushing so hard. He knows where this is going. He tried not to be obvious though, so he just answered with a simple “Okay” and wait for the girl to speak again.

Mark has been told by his friends that he was quite popular with the girls, but they never really come and talk to him. This is new.

“Great. But not here.. can we talk in somewhere more private?”

Mark nodded at that and followed the girl outside.

\-----

“Come on, let’s go home. It’s getting dark already” Jaemin said.

They were at one of the school building’s rooftop, hanging out after the school ended, just because they have nothing better to do. They basically just laying around playing games on their phone on the dirty floor.

“Do you think Mark hyung is finished yet?” Haechan asked to no one in particular. He actually wanted to ask that to himself but it slipped out of his mouth. Oh well.

“I don’t know.. maybe we should just check it out?” Jisung said.

“Well I was planning to anyway” Haechan mumbled to himself.

“Aww someone’s checking up on his boyfie” Chenle teased.

“Shut it” Haechan hissed.

 

They were walking past the back of the library building when suddenly Jisung speaks “Hey, isn’t that Mark hyung?” he asked, drawing all of their attention.

Haechan noticed there are two people where Jisung pointed at, not too far ahead of them, one is a girl and one is.. yup, that’s definitely Mark.

“Who’s that girl?” Chenle asked.

“Uhm.. maybe you don’t want to know about that..” Jaemin whispered.

“Yeah, that situation there, looks a lot like a confession is going on to me.” Jisung said.

“Well you don’t have to make a statement out of it” Jaemin said, giving the two the eye signal, glancing at Haechan. The realization hit them. “Oh..” they whispered in unison.

They started to slow down their pace, not very sure now if they want to proceed with their mission. But Haechan didn’t seem to be affected, he just continues walking ahead.

He looks back when he realized the other three are not walking with him anymore. “What are you guys doing? Come on, quick! I want to listen to what they’re saying!”

“I think we shouldn’t do that.” Chenle stated.

“Fine, I’ll do it myself.”

“Wait, Haechan-ah!” Jaemin tried to stop Haechan but he’s too far away already and if he shouts, their target might hear them and that’s just stupid.

“Well. Let’s just hope for the best” Jisung said. He earned two hits on his shoulder for that. "Ow!"

“Let’s go” Jaemin said as he turned his body to go home.

\-----

Haechan walked more carefully as he got closer to his target, then he gets behind one of the trees nearest to the two.

“….so will you be my boyfriend?” he could hear the girl said.

“I..” He heard Mark started. He sounds hesitant. Haechan knew Mark is not good at saying no to people. Well, based on personal life experience here, so Haechan knows this is not going to be easy for him. If he’s going to say no to that.

“Thank you for saying that, really, but I don’t think that I could be your boyfriend” he finally heard Mark said.

“Why? Am I not pretty enough?” She asked.

“No.. it’s not that. I just.. don’t really know you..? So..”

“Don’t you want to at least try? Maybe then you could fall for me too”

 _Ugh, this one’s pushy._ Haechan thought, starting to feel irritated.

“I’m sorry.. but I don’t think I can do that-”

The girl grabs Mark’s hand tightly. Haechan raised his eyebrows at that. _What the hell girl?_

“We’re graduating, just try going out with me until graduation, please. I’m fine if you want to break up with me then.” She said while pulling Mark closer.

“No.. Please, don’t do this to yourself.” Mark tried to pull his hand back but the girl just hold on to it tighter.

“Please, Mark.. I like you so much, I have been since the first time I saw you.”

Well, Haechan had enough of this shit.

“He said he’s not interested, girl. Don’t push it” He said while walking out of his hideout.

Mark’s eyes looked like it was going to come out of it’s place when he saw who’s talking. “Haechan-ah?” he whispered.

“Who are you?” the girl asked.

“You don’t need to know about me” he walked closer to them.

“Wait, I think I know you. I saw you before. You’re the kid who always follows Mark around, right? You just don’t know when to stop huh?” She mocks him.

“Oh no, that was you, girl. I know when to stop when I can do this.” He pecked Mark’s cheek then, just like he usually did, and Mark is just so confused right now he didn’t do anything to stop him.

“You, on the other side, just keep pleading when he already said no. Don’t you have pride to keep?”

The girl opened her mouth ready to throw words back at him but he stopped her.

“A-Na-ah. I think we’re done here” he gave her a smile and pull Mark away with him.

Haechan’s heart is beating like crazy. The truth is, he was really scared. He really was. He didn’t know what he was doing, he didn’t know what was going to happen. And that girl’s words kind of hurt him. But he has to put up a good act if he wanted to win that. And he did.

 

“You know, you don’t have to be that rude to that girl” Mark said as he closed his bedroom door.

“I was just trying to help you hyung. She’s pushy. She almost coaxed you into dating her.”

“What? No, I had it all under control.”

“You said that now, but you looked like you wanted to cry back there” He said while wiggling his eyebrows, a teasing grin evident on his face.

“Don’t push your luck there Haechan.” He sent him a brief glare before continuing “I was just saying that you shouldn’t be that rude to her.”

“What’s with that anyway? Don’t tell me you liked her.”

“Well I said no, didn’t I? I’m not interested in her, you said so yourself.”

“Okay. I buy that” he nodded. “And that interests me.. do you even liked girls hyung?” he asked, standing up from his previous position on the bed where he was seated the moment he stepped into Mark’s bedroom.

Mark is surprised by the sudden question. “M-maybe? I don’t know, I never really thought about it. What made you ask that anyway?”

Mark was ready for any kind of mockery and teasing to be thrown at him but nothing really came. Haechan just stayed silent and started walking towards him.

He walks until he’s standing right in front of Mark, and Mark is getting nervous as to why Haechan is suddenly so quiet and standing very close to him.

Haechan looked into his eyes. He did the same. “What?” he asks.

But there is no answer, Haechan just gets closer instead, their faces are just a few inches apart now. _What is he doing?_ Mark asked himself.

Haechan keeps leaning closer until Mark can feel his breath on his face, he realized that Haechan’s eyes were no longer on his eyes, it have shifted downwards, and if he’s not mistaken, Haechan’s now looking at his lips. It feels weird. _What are you trying to do Haechan-ah? Is this some kind of a joke?_

Haechan leans closer even more and Mark can almost feel his lips touching his. He can’t take it anymore.

He pushed Haechan away, but maybe he pushed him too hard, as Haechan is now sitting on the floor.

“Ouch” was all he said.

“What was that for?!” Haechan heard Mark asking, or more like, yelling to him.

“I.. I’m just messing with you hyung” he tried to say it with a laugh, but he couldn’t help the trembling of his voice. He can feel the lump forming in his throat.

Mark just raised his eyebrows at him.

“Oh, uhm.. Maybe I should just go home now.. I don’t feel so good.. sorry hyung” he continued, as he gets up from the floor.

He didn’t wait for Mark to reply as he already gathered his things and goes straight to the door, not even looking back as he closed the door behind him.

Mark doesn’t know how to respond. His head is filled with questions right now. _What was that? What just happened? Why is he going home? Did he got upset? Was I too harsh on him? Did I hurt him?_

 

Haechan met Mark’s mom on the way out.

“Hey, honey, going home already? But we don’t even have dinner yet”

“Yes auntie.. uhm, sorry, but I don’t feel so good. I should just go home.” He tried giving her a smile.

“But your mom is not home yet right? What would you have for diner? Just eat here with us honey”

“It’s okay, I ate snacks earlier before coming here, so I’m still full. Thank you for the offer” He reasoned, then he bowed his head and walk out the door before she could even answer him.

\-----

Haechan didn’t know why he was crying the moment he closed his bedroom door. What he did know is that his chest hurts so bad, like someone was punching it, and it feels like someone is choking him, his breath felt heavier as each minute passed by.

 _What were you thinking? Why did you do that? You should have known better than that. Ugh, stupid._ He said to himself.

\-----

Haechan is back to normal the next morning when Mark met him at school. And by normal, he means running on the hall screeching some unrecognizable words with his friends, stopped on his track when he saw Mark and went and kiss him on the cheek and say “Mornin’ hyung!” then continue running again.

~~~

The weight  
Of a simple human emotion  
Weighs me down  
More than the tank ever did

The pain  
It's determined and demanding  
To ache, but I'm ok

And I don't wanna let this go  
I don't wanna lose control  
I just wanna see the stars with you

And I don't wanna say goodbye  
Someone tell me why  
I just wanna see the stars with you

Troye Sivan – The Fault in Our Stars

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just to make it clear, I make Chenle and Jisung to be at the same age as Haechan and Jaemin, while Renjun and Jeno are the same as Mark. ;)
> 
> \---  
>  
> 
> PS : HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARK LEE~~ OUR BABY LION AAWW >~<♡♡♡ thank you for existing, really ㅠㅠ hope you always get what you wanted and be happy~ I’m so proud of you :”) please don’t be too hard on yourself :”
> 
> Mark hyung, I’m always happy when you’re around. I love you – Donghyuck ❤


	2. Just Friends

~~~

Meghan Trainor – Just a Friend to You

~~~

 

Mark notices the changes in Haechan as he entered high school. He loss his baby fat, his body looked leaner. His smile looks even more glowing than ever. He seems different. He looked.. cute, almost. But Mark never wanted to admit that to him. Ever. _He didn’t need the extra confidence boost._ Mark thought.

But what Mark didn’t know is, he’s not the only one noticing these changes.

\-----

 

Mark just finished his homework when he heard his door opened. It’s pretty late, who would come to his room at this hour? He wonder.

Haechan’s head peeked from behind the door. _Well, isn’t that surprising?_ He rolled his eyes.

What’s he doing here this late at night? Nobody knows. He usually just came like this without telling Mark and asked him to play, sometimes they’d watch a movie, or sometimes they’d just talk. Well, usually Haechan did most of the talking, but it was fun nonetheless because he always find something funny to tell him. And Mark maybe, just maybe, enjoys and always waits for times like these because it would distract him from any stressful thoughts he had in his mind. 

And Mark had a lot of them.

Plus, it’s Saturday tomorrow so he got nothing to complain about staying up late because of Haechan.

“Hello hyung~” Haechan said as he walked into the room. He sits on Mark’s bed, facing him who’s still on his desk, and just stare at him with a smile on his face.

Mark would be lying if he said that he didn’t expect the kiss Haechan usually gave him. He just gets so used to it. But it looks like that won’t happen tonight seeing how Haechan just went straight to sit on his bed and just stare at him with that weird smile on his face. _Did he forget about that?_ Mark couldn’t help but ask himself.

“What are you doing?” Haechan finally speaks again.

“I was just finishing my homework”

“What? But it’s Friday night. Who did a homework on a Friday night?”

“Apparently, I did.” Mark said, looking at him with a straight face.

Haechan didn’t want to annoy Mark any further so he continued “Anyways, it’s finished, right? So you’re free now?”

“Yeah”

“Okay. So.” Haechan patted the space in front of him on the bed, gesturing for Mark to come sit in front of him. Haechan’s heart started to beat faster. He’s just so nervous about what he’s going to say.

Mark sits on the bed, now they’re facing each other.

“Hyung, remember what we saw yesterday on the way home?”

“Which one? There’re plenty of things, I’m not sure if I even remember all of it.”

“The one that is out of ordinary.”

“Oh. It’s that dog isn’t it? The big one sitting on the sidewalk just staring at us with such a creepy face. ”

“Really, now? You wanna talk about that?” Haechan raised his eyebrow.

“Not really..” Mark said with a sheepish smile.

“What else was out of ordinary that day?” Haechan asked again.

“Hm..” Mark tries to remember what else they saw on their way home that day “.. are you talking about that two boys?” he asked.

“Yeah, the two boys.. holding hands..”

“Ooh, yeah, I remember them. So you’re here just to talk about them?”

“Well.. I want to talk about them first, then talk about me..,” he said quietly and Mark’s face twisted in confusion, Haechan’s not sure if it was because he couldn’t hear him clearly or because he’s really confused about what’s that two boys had anything to do with him, so Haechan continued “uhm, anyways. What do you think about them hyung? You know that they’re not just ‘friends’ right?” he said, emphasizing the word ‘friends’.

“Well, yeah, I noticed. What do you think I am? Five?”

“Right. So what do you think of them? What do you think about that kind of relationship?”

“Well, it’s their life, their choice, I don’t have the right to judge about how they live or who they’re dating right?”

“So you’re okay with that kind of thing?”

“Yeah, I guess. What about it?”

Haechan relaxed a little at that but still, his heart won’t calm down. The business is not over yet. The hard part is yet to come.

“Hyung I want to tell you something but don’t get weirded out okay? Please..” He said, his heart is stammering on his chest.

He’s so afraid of how Mark would think about him after he said this. But he knew Mark is not going to push him away because of this, he said he’s okay with this kind of thing, so.. here goes nothing.

“I’m like them hyung” he said, letting the words float in the air for a few seconds before continuing “I’m gay. I liked boys.”

“Oh. Okay.” Was all Mark said. Well Haechan didn’t know how to interpret that respond and that expression. But at least Mark didn’t look mad or anything so he said what he was actually planning to say that night next.

“And.. I have a boyfriend.” 

“Oh..?”

Mark wasn’t really surprised by Haechan coming out, he saw it coming actually. But what shocked him is, _Haechan has a boyfriend?_

“I know right? I never saw it coming too! You’re the first person to know about this, hyung. My mom doesn’t know about this yet, even Jaemin, Chenle and Jisung didn’t know about this! I want you to be the first one to know hyung, I trusted you the most.” Heachan said with such excitement, then he gave him a sweet smile, and Mark didn’t know why but he felt a little sick right now. He returned the smile as best as he can.

Then Haechan started talking about his boyfriend. It’s a kid from his grade he said, he’s tall and handsome and has a nice voice and haechan just keep babbling about that kid all night. Mark just sit there, listening, well, not really, because his mind is actually in a hectic state right now. He just couldn’t wrap his head around all of this. _When did all this happened? I never saw him getting close to anyone in that way. When did he get such attention from anybody anyway? As far as I know, nobody is attracted to him. Well he attracts people because he’s loud and all but not in ‘that’ way, right?_ Mark felt a weird feeling in his chest.

Suddenly there’s a phone shoved in front of his face. He snapped out of his thoughts. 

“Here hyung, look. He’s cute riight? Aaww. He’s so cutee! And he’s nice to me too hyung.” Haechan said and starts giggling.

Mark looked at the image on Haechan’s phone.  
He couldn’t think of any other words to respond to that, so “Yeah, he’s.. okay.” was the only thing his mind was telling him to say.

Mark didn’t know how he get through that night and how that night ended, but Mark knew he didn’t find that night to be as fun as any other night where Haechan came over to his house.

\-------

 

Mark didn’t see haechan as often since then. It has been two weeks, he’s always with his so called boyfriend, even his mom started asking if they had a fight with each other. But Mark is not complaining though. He finally gets what he wanted, right? Haechan’s not sticking to him anymore. 

Or is that still what he really wants right now?

 

Mark was so into his own thoughts that he didn’t hear someone calling him. He just walked lazily towards the gate until someone wrapped an arm around his shoulder and made him stop walking.

“Heey, missing someone?” He heard Jeno asked.

“What? No..?” he said as he shrugs the arm on his shoulder away, then starts walking again.

“So what’s with the long face man? You didn’t even hear me calling” Jeno asked, catching up with him.

“What long face? I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” Jeno gave him a teasing smile. “You know you can be honest with me” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Who are we talking about anyway? Stop messing with me.”

“Oh you know who. Your boyfriend.”

“What boyfriend.” 

“Oh I don’t know.. the one who’s always following you around maybe?” Jeno teased.

“What are you talking about dumbo.”

“Oh come on. I know you miss Haechan. Don’t try to deny it. Even I kind of missed him.”

“I don’t miss him. It just felt weird. He’s always around, but suddenly he isn’t.”

“You miss him oh my god. That’s what people said when they miss someone. Just admit it.”

“Why are you so obsessed with me?”

“Just. Admit. It.” Jeno said, emphasizing each words.

“Okay, yes, maybe.. I miss him.. kinda..?” Mark shrugs.

“God, finally. What’s so hard about saying that anyway? Oh I’m so proud of you son. It’s a big step, I know. It’s always hard to talk about your feelings right?” He said while making a sad face and patting Mark on the back.

Mark just rolled his eyes at that.

\------

Mark still had so many thoughts in his mind as he walks back to his room after a shower that night. He then goes to his closet to get some clothes and put it on, but when he closed the closet door, Haechan was standing there behind him in the mirror of his closet.

“OHMYGOD!” he yelled. 

He turns his body around to face Haechan.

“When did you get in here? Why did you do that? I almost had a heart attack oh my god. That’s so not funny!” Mark said while clutching his chest. But Haechan didn’t say anything, he didn’t even laugh.

Mark noticed Haechan is a bit.. quiet. 

“Hyung do you think I’m stupid?” Haechan asked suddenly.

“Uhm? What’s with the sudden question?”

“Just answer the question. Please.” 

Mark couldn’t look at Haechan’s face because he kept it low. _What’s happening?_ Mark asked himself.

“No. Of course not.”

“Am I annoying?” Haechan asked next.

“Uhm.. no..?” Mark answered hesitantly. He didn’t want to make Haechan pissed, he’s clearly not in the best mood right now.

“Be honest. Please.”

“Well sometimes, yeah..? But it’s not that bad, I think.”

“Am I childish?”

“You’re a child of course you are childish.” He tried to lighten up the mood.

“Hyung I’m not joking here.” Haechan said, still looking down.

“Yeah you are, sometimes, but it’s okay, right? There’s no problem with it.”

Haechan stayed silent for a while after that. Mark walks closer to him, he tried to look at Haechan’s face as he stands in front of him now. Suddenly Haechan took a step closer to Mark and hug him. Mark could feel that it’s not the playful or happy kind of hug Haechan usually give him. 

Mark knew something’s off, so he just hug him back.

“Hey.. what’s wrong?” Mark tried to ask him.

He can feel Haechan hugged him tighter.

“What happened Haechan-ah? Tell me.” He asked softly as he rubs his back, trying to comfort him.

“He said I’m childish and annoying hyung. He said I’m stupid for believing that he actually liked me” come the muffled voice.

Mark already get the idea of who he was talking about, but he just had to ask.

“Who said that to you?”

“My boyfriend.. no, my ex-boyfriend.”

 _I knew it. That kid is no good. I knew it. I knew it._ Mark said to himself.

“Do you think I’m really like that hyung? Stupid and annoying?” Haechan asked.

Mark couldn’t stand hearing the voice that usually sounded so cheerful and bright now sounded so.. sad.

“No. Of course not, Haechan-ah. He’s just a jerk for saying something like that. He is stupid. Not you. You’re just too good for him, that’s why he felt insecure and said those things to you.” Mark said, now patting Haechan’s back.

“You really think that hyung?” Haechan knew Mark was just trying to make him feel better by saying that. But it worked. He did feel better.

“Yeah, of course, Haechan-ah”

“Thank you hyung” Haechan leaned away a little, just to kiss his cheek and leaned back again to hug him. “You’re really a nice person” he said as he rested his head on Mark’s shoulder.

Mark was surprised by the kiss but what’s new though? At least the old Haechan is back.

 

Haechan stayed over that night. It’s not like it was his first time doing it. He often stayed over at Mark’s house when his mom has to go out of town to work for a few days, or sometimes they just played or watched a movie until they fell asleep. But tonight, Mark was the one asking him to stay over. Haechan could feel that Mark was so worried about him. Mark is always like that. Try to be nice to everybody, afraid to hurt people, worry about everything.

Haechan knew that he couldn’t replace Mark with anyone. But he has to try, right? That was why he got a boyfriend, a cute one at that, and he liked him.. a little. He was nice at first and handsome and all Haechan could think of as his ideal type, before that jerk started talking shit and hurt him.

\-----

 

“Hyung, I heard someone confessed to you again today?”

“Yeah..”

“You rejected her?”

Mark nodded.

It’s the second time in this new semester that a girl confessed to Mark and as always, Mark rejected her. Mark is a senior now, and more and more girls confessed to him, but Mark never accepted any of them. It makes Haechan wonder..

“Hyung can I ask you something?” Haechan leaned to the side a little to look at Mark’s face, he grabs Mark’s sides tighter. They were on the way home from school on Haechan’s bike. Mark rides it, as usual when they go home together, and Haechan sits behind him on the extra seat.

“What is it?” 

“It’s a bit personal though.. don’t be mad okay?”

“Just ask it already”

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend until now? There were so many girls confessed to you. They were all pretty but you never accepted even one of them.” 

Mark is silent after that and Haechan thought he was mad, but then Mark said “I don’t know.. maybe I’m just not interested in dating yet.”

“Or maybe, you’re not interested in girls.” That just slipped out of Haechan’s mouth and he slapped his mouth for that. _Way to go dumbo._ Haechan said to himself. He nervously waits for Mark to answer.

Mark actually didn’t know what to say so he just shrugged at that. 

Haechan raised his eyebrows, confused, not sure if he wants to ask more about this matter.

\-----

Haechan’s mind is full of thoughts that night.

 _I know Mark hyung is not really paying attention to girls. He seems.. not interested in them. He never has a girlfriend until now even though there’re so many girls confessed to him. Did he like boys? But he looked so.. mad when I almost kissed him when we’re in junior high.._  
_Maybe he didn’t realize it yet back then that he liked boys?_

Then one thought struck his heart and make it stop beating for a second. _Or maybe it’s just because he didn’t like me..?_

 _That must be it, right?_

Haechan let the thought sink in.

_Well.. that hurts._

\-----

 

It’s Mark’s birthday today and the Dreamies are celebrating it at his home after school. The celebration is actually just them hanging out together like they usually did, except the addition of the birthday cake. 

It’s night already when they decided to finish the celebration with watching some movies. 

The seven of them didn’t fit on Mark’s couch so some of them had to sit on the floor. Haechan is sitting on the floor with Mark and Jisung beside him. Jeno and Renjun sit on the couch behind them, along with Jaemin and Chenle.

As Renjun sat behind Mark, Haechan started to notice a few things.

Renjun put his chin on top of Mark’s head and circled his arms around Mark’s shoulder. Mark didn’t seem to mind about that. He didn’t cringe, he didn’t try to get away. He just let him do it.

In fact, try to think back about it, Haechan realized how Mark always liked to be close to Renjun. He didn’t try to get away when Renjun initiated skinship with him. He even seemed.. to like it. He looked comfortable around him. _Not like when he’s with me._

_It can’t be because he knew I’m gay right? He’s always like that even before that.. Or maybe.. maybe he liked Renjun hyung._

_I have to ask him._

\-----

Haechan stayed behind and waits until all of the others went home to help Mark clean up the mess they made, as usual. _Well thankfully those dumbos brought the trash out with them so it was less work for the householder._ Haechan thought. 

And now is a good time to ask about his thoughts earlier.

“Hyung.. do you like Renjun hyung?” Haechan asked as he comes out of the kitchen after putting the dirty dishes away. Mark was picking up the pillows sprawled on the floor.

“What?” Mark is a bit surprised by the question.

“I know he’s quiet and smart and mature.. and beautiful. You like someone like that, right?” Haechan asked again, walking towards Mark. 

Mark could see from his face that Haechan’s asking seriously about this, he’s not teasing him or any sort of that kind. So Mark thought about the question seriously too.

“I… I don’t know. I like it when he’s around. He’s very.. calming..? But does that mean that I liked him ‘like’ that?”

Haechan’s now standing in front of Mark and tried to give him a smile. “Yes! That means you like him, hyung. You like being close to him right? I even realized that you looked so comfortable around him..” 

Haechan didn’t wait for Mark to answer that. He didn’t need to. _So it is true._

“Aww you guys will be so cute together~” Haechan said and squealed, with his eyes closed and his hands clenched in front of his face. 

He said that but he could feel his heart clenched tightly. _Why are you doing this to yourself Haechan-ah?_ He asked himself. He started to feel the lump forming in his throat. _This is not good._ The tears started to fill his eyes. Thank god he still got his hands in front of his face. He can’t show this face to Mark. So he turned his body around.

“Aha.. this is great. I never knew that this day will come where ‘the’ Mark Lee would finally has a crush on ‘a person’” he said and try laughing, thankfully it did came out as a laugh, and thankfully Mark takes the joke and start hitting his back playfully from behind him. 

“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean!” Mark said, and Haechan just laughed again and start running away from Mark’s hits. 

He didn’t turn around after that though, instead he run and run until he reached his own room, away from Mark. Then, and just then, he let the tears streamed down his face.

 

~~~

IU – Ending Scene

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I made Haechan cry. Again. I’M SORRY :””
> 
> Promise the next chapter will be more.. uhm.. fun. :’)


	3. Fools

~~~

Did the weather get crazy? Did my heart get crazy?  
or did they both get crazy?  
looking at you who's walking from there  
I knew that my heart got crazy  
I’m so excited since the weather is nice  
but no, honestly, I'm like this because I like you

20 Years of Age – Crazy Weather

~~~

 

It’s a few days after Mark’s birthday, Haechan never brought up the talk again after that time at Mark’s house. He just accepted the fact that Mark liked Renjun.

Actually Haechan is not the type of person that can be brought down easily. No. In fact, he’s pretty confident with himself. But when it comes to Mark, he just felt.. hopeless. He felt weak. Not that it’s a bad thing, but Mark just has that spot in his heart. He doesn't want to lose him. And after all he’s been through with Mark, he knows that he didn’t want to push Mark. He just can’t.

But talking about Renjun.. he noticed something weird lately. Renjun and Jeno looked a bit.. close. They were close before, but now they seem to be closer.

 

It was a normal ordinary morning that day, Haechan was walking through the hall with Jaemin after changing their uniforms for PE, Chenle and Jisung were not with them because they had different classes, when he saw two familiar figures walking not too far ahead of them.

Like what he thought lately, the two seemed a bit.. close. Real close. Kissing your friend’s ear lovingly is not considered normal, is it?

Their faces just full of smiles, it looks glowing. _Okay. What is going on?_ Haechan thought. He glanced at Jaemin, but he didn’t seem to notice anything. _Maybe it’s just me..?_

\-------

Haechan’s mom was working out of town again for a few days so the Dreamies decided to hang out and have a sleepover at Haechan’s house that night, just to keep him company.

Haechan didn’t know why his mom has to work on weekends too, but he knows that’s her job, that’s what keeping them afloat through all these years, and he knows how hard it is for his mom to raise a child on her own, so he’s not going to complain about it. Besides, now he and the dreamies are free to hang out in his house for the weekend.

 

They always watch movies when they’re hanging out together. It just became a thing. New movie everytime. Maybe sometimes they seem to be just a bunch of careless kids, watching a movie and laughs at it, but sometimes they like to talk about the characters in the movie and their stories of life, sometimes the talk just became so deep that it made them reflect on their own lives too, they’re learning. They just like watching movies together.

And that’s what they’re doing right now. After they’re tired of playing video games, they decided to watch some late night movies with blankets and snacks and pillows and a mattress, of course, in front of the tv.

 

Haechan is trying to keep a close eye at Renjun and Jeno. He wants to find out if it’s just him or is there really something going on between the two. So he sat at the back, at the couch to be exact, with Jaemin next to him and Mark next to Jaemin, while the others sat or splayed around on the mattress.

It was almost an hour into the movie when Jaemin moved down to join the others on the mattress, and just then Haechan saw movements on his two targets. Renjun had to shift to make room for Jaemin so he moved closer to Jeno, but then Haechan saw him rested his head on Jeno’s shoulder. And when Haechan tried to look closer, he could see that Jeno had his hand around Renjun’s body already.

He almost reflexively looked at Mark, who’s now sitting next to him on the couch. He can see that Mark’s eyes are on them too. 

_Oh no.. he noticed that too, didn’t he? Is he okay?_

He shifts closer to Mark so he could talk to him quietly.

“Hyung are you okay?” He whispered into Mark’s ear as soon as he got close enough to him.

Mark flinched a little, surprised by the sudden intrusion. “Why wouldn’t I?” he asked, confused.

“Renjun and Jeno..” Haechan started slowly while pointing to the direction of the two, but then Mark chuckled “Oh, that” he said.

“Why are you laughing? I knew you were looking at them too earlier.” Haechan asked.

“I laughed because of you, checking up on me after you saw what that two were doing.” he laughed again. “Don’t worry, I knew about them” he said.

“What? But you said-”

“I never said anything, did I?”

“But-”

“You’re the one putting the words into my mouth.” Mark said, looking at him in the eyes, trying to hold back another laugh.

Haechan is speechless. _So.. Mark hyung didn’t like Renjun hyung like that..?_

“So you didn’t like him?” he has to confirm it.

“Well I like him, as a friend, because he’s the most bearable human being in this room. Not like ‘someone else’ who’s always get on my nerves everytime I see them.” Mark said while looking at him. Haechan can see that Mark tried to hold back a smile and he knew then.

_He was talking about me huh?_

“I will kiss you for that.” Haechan said playfully as he moved even closer to Mark, grabbing his shoulder.

“No you don’t” Mark said as he tried to get away from Haechan, laughing.

“Yes I do. Come here you-”

“What’s the ruckus about back there, kids?” Jaemin asked suddenly.

“Yeah, we’re watching a movie here if you don’t mind.” Jeno added.

Mark and Haechan get back to their previous position slowly. “Nothing.” Haechan said.

“Sorry” Mark added quietly.

When the attention is not on them anymore, Haechan tried to attack Mark again. Silently this time. But Mark is ready for this round and beats him to it.

It’s hard to focus on a movie when someone is putting their arms around your neck and try to choke the life out of your body you know.

But Haechan is not complaining though, as he gets to rest his head on Mark’s chest the whole time.

\-----

“I’m hungry again!” Chenle shouted.

“Yeah me too” Jisung agreed.

“Do we have anything else to eat haechan-ah?” Jaemin asked.

“No..? You guys ate all the snacks already!”

“Aww but I’m hungryyy” Chenle whines.

Haechan sighed at that “Okay! I’ll go buy some more snacks then. Be right back!” he said as he grabbed some money and walked to the door.

“Wait, Haechan-ah!” he heard Mark calling him.

“Hm?” he’s done putting his shoes on and ready to walk out the door.

“I’m coming with you.”

“Uhm?” Haechan looked at Mark weirdly. _He really wanted to go with me?_ He then realized he hasn’t given Mark a respond yet. “Oh.. okay..” he nodded.

“Is it okay if we just walk? It’s kinda nice out tonight. I wanna walk” Mark asked as they walked out the door, before Haechan could even go to get his bike.

“Okay.. we’ll just walk then.”

\-----

“Waahh look at the stars hyung, it’s pretty!” Haechan said excitedly while looking up at the sky.

“Look where you were going!” Mark said as he pulled Haechan away from a pole. “Yeah.. That’s why I wanna walk instead of riding the bike.”

“Hmm.. it’s been so long since the last time I saw this many stars..” Haechan said, smiling to himself.

“Me too. Beautiful, right?” 

Haechan’s eyes meet Mark’s and he nodded, giving his best smile to the other.

Mark didn’t realize his heart skipped a beat at that.

 

They walk like that for a while, just enjoying the night sky view until their necks can’t take it anymore and they had to look down to give their necks some rest.

“So, hyung..” Haechan started. “You sure you didn’t like Renjun hyung in that way?”

“Nope, I just feel.. I don’t know.., comfortable around him because I think he’s a lot like me. We kind of have the same pace, you know? I don’t know how to say it. It just feels like.. he understands me.”

“I understand you.”

“Haha yeah.. I think you do too.” Mark smiled, ruffling Haechan’s hair. “It’s just that he’s.. like I said before, a lot like me” he looked at Haechan. Haechan has a confused face on and Mark couldn’t help but let out a little laugh at that.

“Hm..” Haechan’s still not sure. “are you sure you didn’t like him like that?”

“Oh god, yes! I’m sure. Why am I even telling you this” he said, while pushing Haechan’s body a little to the side playfully.

“I’m just worried about you..” Haechan said quietly as he shifted back closer to Mark.

“Don’t worry then! I’m one hundred percent sure about this, okay?” Mark said as he looked into Haechan’s eyes.

“Okay” Haechan nodded and smiled widely upon hearing that. But then the wind blows and Mark saw Haechan trembling a little. He just wore some thin sweater so no wonder he feels cold.

“I don’t know if it’ll be this cold!” Haechan laughed.

“Come here. Don’t walk too far.” Mark said as he pulled Haechan close by his waist. Haechan knew Mark was just trying to be nice, he’s always like that, or maybe he gets cold too, but either way, it makes Haechan’s heart goes crazy.

\-----

When they get back to Haechan’s house, the others were already sleeping.

“Did we go that long?” Haechan asked as he put the groceries on the table. 

“I don’t know..?” Mark said as he put the ones in his hands on the table too. “Well we clearly can’t sleep here.” He said as he looked around.

The couch in front of the tv is occupied by Renjun and Jeno, the other three are sleeping on the mattress by the couch.

“Well.. guess we’ll just sleep in my room then.” _Shit._ He then abruptly looked at Mark, not sure how he would react. He didn’t ask him first about this, the words just slipped out of his mouth.

“.. if you want to, hyung” he added quickly.

“Yeah, let’s just sleep in your room. I don’t want to get kicked out of the mattress in the middle of the night. Just look at them.” Mark said while pointing at the three bodies splayed out on the mattress. Mark then turned to him. "You won't kick me out right?" He chuckled.

Haechan let go of the breath he didn’t know he was holding. "Of course not hyung" he smiled nervously. 

He then moved to take the groceries on the table. “Okay then.. I’ll put this in the kitchen first.” He said while shaking his hands, showing Mark his full-of-groceries hands.

“Okay.” Mark nodded.

\-----

They were laying on Haechan’s bed, their back facing each other’s. 

Haechan found it hard to sleep. Well it's not like it was their first time sharing a bed, they did it all the time when they were little. But since they got bigger, Mark was about to enter high school to be exact, one of them usually had to sleep on the mattress because the bed was not big enough for the both of them to slept comfortably anymore. Haechan was a bit glad about this arrangement because his heart was really not helping back then, he would be too nervous to sleep.

But right now the mattress is obviously out there and they had to sleep on the bed together. That was why Haechan was getting a bit anxious before, he was worried that Mark would feel uncomfortable with this situation. Well Mark said okay anyway but still, his own heart is not okay with this and here he is, lying on his side, trying hard to just sleep. But then he remembered that there's this one thing that he wanted to say to Mark.

“Um.. hyung? Are you asleep yet?”

“No.. not yet. Why?”

“Hyung. I don’t want to sound weird or anything, but..”

Haechan turns his body to face Mark’s back. 

“Promise me that you’ll never leave me.. Okay. That sounds weird. I didn’t mean that you can’t leave me, you have your own life to live, I can’t control that, but what I mean is.. how do I say this..”

He heard Mark laughs as he turned his body to face Haechan.

“There, there, it’s okay, I understand.” He said, meeting Haechan’s eyes, smiling “Okay, I promise you.” 

“Really hyung?” Haechan didn’t think Mark would answer so easily like that.

Mark nodded his head, smile still intact.

Haechan smiled at that too.

“Okay! Thank you, hyung.” They stayed like that, just smiling at each other until Haechan decided to speak again before everything turns awkward. “Then.. night, hyung.” Haechan said and closed his eyes. But Mark could still see the smile on his face.

“Good night Haechan-ah”

They fall asleep like that, still facing each other.

\-------

 

Haechan noticed that Mark is more.. tolerant with him these past few weeks. He didn’t really mind Haechan getting close and initiated touches with him anymore. _Maybe after all these years he finally getting used to me being clingy with him._ Haechan thought.

He has think this through, and although he said that he’s afraid to lose Mark, Mark had promised him that he won’t leave him so.. he decided to just tell Mark how he felt about him. 

At first he thought it was just a crush. But who is he kidding? He always think about Mark. He always wanted to be with Mark. He’s super happy when Mark’s around.

 _I don’t know where this would go but I just had to tell him before he graduates and get into the uni._ Haechan knew Mark was planning on going to the university at another city. So it’s now or never.

\-----

 

“I need to tell you something hyung.” Haechan said as he sit in front of Mark on the bed.

“I don’t know when this all started but..” He leaned in and kissed Mark briefly. On the lips this time.

Mark is surprised by the sudden contact, it just felt so.. soft.

Haechan pulls away and continues “Hyung.. I think I’m in love with you.” Haechan said, smiling nervously as he meet Mark’s eyes.

Mark’s mind is still blurry from the kiss earlier. He had a hard time processing any information right now. _What?_ He tried to replay what Haechan just said in his head.

Haechan had asked him this morning if he can come to his house that night. It’s weird, Haechan never really asked him before he come, not since that first time when they were still in elementary school. Usually he just came, like he owned the house. So Mark’s a bit weirded out by that, but this, this is not what he expected to happen. 

He didn’t know what to do. Or what to think. Haechan just kissed him. On the lips.

\-----

Mark started avoiding Haechan after that. He always find a reason to get away everytime Haechan asked him to go home together, or everytime Haechan greets him when he met him.

He didn’t know how to feel about Haechan’s confession. He didn’t know how to act normal around him, to act like nothing happened between them. He still doesn’t get it. _Was he serious? He loves me? Love is.. a big word. He always said that he liked me since we were little, but I thought he was just saying that because he wanted to be friends with me? Maybe this time he get this all wrong?_ Mark thought. It felt weird.

It’s a few days after Haechan confessed to him. He’s still avoiding him as best as he can. 

He met him at school that day. “Mark hyung~” Haechan try to greet him, as usual, but he just put on a little smile, wave a little and get away from him. 

_Way to make it not obvious, Mark._ He told himself. He felt sorry to Haechan for doing all this, but he just didn’t know how to face him. He hasn’t really thought about what he was going to say to Haechan. And Haechan didn’t seem to push him to give him an answer either. So..

“Hey Mark.” He heard someone greets him and he snapped out of his thoughts. He turned his head to look at who’s calling him. _Yukhei?_

“Uhm.. hey..?” Mark is confused. He knew Yukhei. He’s a senior too, but they’re not that close to actually greet each other like this. Yukhei is that tall-handsome-athletic-loved by everybody kind of boy. Mark is.. Mark.

“Your boyfriend? I saw him around you a lot.” He asked as he tipped his head towards the direction of where Haechan was, smiling.

“No..?” _Why is he asking that?_

“Thank god. What’s his name?” 

_Thank god? Why?_ “Haechan..?”

“Ooh.. Haechan. He’s cute.” He talk to himself while looking down, still smiling. Then he meet Mark’s eyes again. “Thanks man, gotta go.” 

_What?_

\-----

It’s almost a week after Haechan confessed. Mark saw Yukhei around Haechan lately. They talked, like they knew each other for years. Yukhei even put his arm around Haechan’s shoulder sometimes. And they laugh. Like. A lot.

 _How did they get so close like that?_ Mark wonders.

\-----

It’s a week after Haechan confessed.

Haechan catches him when he was about to get out of the school gates after school ended. 

“Hyung!” he’s on his bike, as usual. “Let’s go home together!”

“Uhm.. go ahead.. I just feel like walking home.” He said, trying not to meet Haechan’s eyes.

“Hyung.” Haechan called him with a serious tone.

“Uhm?” Mark still avoid his eyes.

“Is it about what I said that day? I noticed you’ve been avoiding me since then.”

He meets Haechan’s eyes for a brief second before diverts it again. “No.. it’s not that..”

“Then what did I do wrong? Why are you avoiding me?”

Mark doesn’t really know what to say. He didn’t know how to say it to Haechan. He still has no answer for him. 

Haechan seems to notice that Mark won’t be saying anything to answer him, so he asked again.

“It is because of that right? Because I confessed to you?”

“You didn’t know what you’re talking about, Haechan. You didn’t love me. Maybe you got it all wrong?”

“Don’t question my feelings hyung. I know what I felt. You are the one that was too afraid to accept it. If you don’t like me that way you could just say it. I’ll be okay.. eventually. I’m still okay after all this time anyway.”

 _All this time? What is he talking about?_ Mark asked himself.

“No, try to think through about it Haechan. You didn’t love ‘love’ me right?”

Haechan had enough of this talk. _This won’t work._ Mark just couldn’t understand how he felt. “I know what I want hyung, I know my feelings. Try to ask yours.” Then he left.

Mark takes his time walking home after that. He has so many thoughts in his mind. The walk home felt very cold that day.

\-----

As soon as he stepped his feet inside the house, he heard his mom calling him.

“Mark! Come quick, we have to go to the hospital!” Mark didn’t have the time to ask anything as his mom already pulling his hand to get him out of the house again. He’s confused. Who got into the hospital? Why his mom looked very uneasy and worried? 

_Did something happened to dad?_

“Mom..” he tried to call his mom when they’re in the car, driving to the hospital. But she stayed silent. Just as he was about to ask why they’re going to the hospital, his mom said “Haechan got hit by a car, Mark. His mom called me and she thought he can’t make it. We have to hurry, she’s all alone there.”

Mark can’t believe what he just heard. _Is this all real? What is happening?_ He asked himself. He stayed silent until they get to the hospital, still trying to process what was happening. 

He felt this uneasy feeling in his chest as they walk into the hospital. He remember what Haechan told him before he left him just a few minutes ago. 

_“I know what I want hyung, I know my feelings. Try to ask yours.”_

He felt his heart clenched at the thought of that voice.

 

When they meet Haechan’s mom, she was squatting down on the floor, her back leaned on the wall behind her and she has her face up, staring at the ceiling. 

When she noticed them coming, she stands up abruptly and start walking towards them. As she gets closer Mark noticed that she was not in a good condition. Her work suit is messy, wrinkles everywhere, her hair is messy, her eyes bloodshot red from too much crying, and he can feel her body trembling as she hugged Mark and his mom when she get to them. 

Then she whispered with choked breath “He didn’t make it.”

Mark can’t feel or hear anything. He just know that he’s now kneeling on the floor when he looked down, his hands clenched tight. He can’t think of anything else, there’s only one thing in his mind right now, the familiar voice saying it over and over.

_“Hyung.. I think I’m in love with you.”_

 

~~~

Feels like our time has stopped  
Does there anything that last forever in this world?

They say you only know how good it was once it’s gone  
I didn’t understand that till I lost something

Whispered promises all night  
I hope you remember that day

iKON – Don’t Forget

~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. there. That’s the story people. :)


	4. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody asked but.. double update this week~~! ㅋㅋㅋ I was planning on posting this with the previous chapter yesterday but I need to fix a few things so here it is~
> 
> Btw, I freak out a little bcs of Dream’s teaser photo!! ㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅋ >♡<
> 
>  
> 
> *okay. Back to being sad*
> 
> I think this one song is enough for this whole chapter.

 

~~~

Beautiful  
Just the way that you would look at me  
Was so much I’d never wanna leave  
I.. I..  
Keep trying to forget how you were

Beautiful  
Just the way that you were calling my name  
But without you it won’t be the same  
I.. I..  
Keep trying to forget, but you were beautiful

Think I’ve cried more than I had imagined  
If this is real take me back to the start then  
what I want but I know it can’t happen  
Baby I know it’s already over

I don’t want you to hurt but can’t help it  
Every moment is thoughts of you back when  
I saw you throw me a smile and that had me

Beautiful  
Cause the last time that you looked at me  
I did all I could I watched you leave  
I.. I..  
Keep trying to forget how you were

Beautiful

 

Day6 – You were Beautiful (eng. Ver)

~~~

 

Images of that bright smile flashes in his head. The sound of that sweet laughter still ringing in his ear. But he didn’t feel anything. He can’t feel anything. His body is numb. _Is this all real?_ He’s still asking that question to himself.

Today is Haechan’s funeral. There are so many people coming, despite the fact that Haechan only lived with his mom in this town. They had no other relatives here. His father left them, that’s the reason why they moved here in the first place.

All of their friends came. One by one, they come to Mark who had been standing at one corner with a straight face, patting his shoulder, giving him reassuring words, trying to cheer him up. Although Mark didn’t really say anything, they know Mark is devastated. Mark and Haechan were so close. Everybody knows that.

Suddenly Mark felt hands cupped his face and force him to look up. It was Jeno. Mark can see that there were traces of tears on his cheeks. 

They didn’t say anything, they just stare into each other’s eyes for a whole minute before Jeno came closer and hugged him. Before he let go, he whispered in Mark’s ear. “Let it out Mark.”

Mark knows what he was talking about. But he can’t. No matter how clenched his heart was to the point that it felt hard to even breath, he can’t cry. He can feel his eyes burning but the tears just won’t come out.

“He asked me to go home with him before it happened”

“Oh, Mark..” Jeno knew where this is going. 

“And I said no. I even lied to him just because I didn’t want to. Why am I so stupid?”

Jeno doesn’t know what to say, so he just stays silent.

“He didn’t go straight back to his house after that. And I know he didn’t take the usual route that we used to take. All of this happened because of me.”

“No.. no, Mark” Jeno shakes his head, his hands are now on Mark’s shoulders. “You didn’t know that”

Mark diverts his eyes from Jeno’s and looks down. _Yes I do. He must had felt upset because of me. That’s why he was going to the park._

Jeno sees the frown forming on Mark’s face. He can tell that he’s in deep thought.

“Mark look at me” Jeno said. Mark raised his head and meets his eyes again. “This is not your fault” Jeno said. But Mark didn’t say anything after that. Jeno knew that Mark didn’t want to talk anymore. 

“Don’t be too hard on yourself okay?” he said before letting go of Mark’s shoulders and goes to stand next to him.

Renjun joined them not long after that, Mark could still see the tears in his eyes, he walks up to Mark, gives him a tight hug and goes to stand next to Jeno, holding his hand.

 

A few minutes passed and everyone have gathered around the grave, including him. He keeps his head low, he didn’t want to meet anyone’s eyes. He didn’t want to look at their mourning face. It’s almost time. 

He feels a hand grabbed his clenched hand, giving it a squeeze. He didn’t have to look at the person, he just knew who it was. “Hang in there, baby. It’s going to be okay” his mom said.

He raised his head to look at his mom. She sounded and looked so.. sure? Mark didn’t really know what that expression means, but maybe she was just trying really hard to convince him that everything is going to be okay.

 

But still, Mark could feel parts of his soul left his body the moment the coffin got brought down to the ground.

\------

He lied on his bed that night thinking of Haechan, of how maybe things would be different if he made different choices along the way, of how maybe he could have saved him. Damn, thinking about life without him made his chest clenched so hard his heart feels like it’s going to rip apart from his body. 

He finally took in the fact that Haechan is gone and he won’t be coming back. But still, he can’t accept it just like that.

He starts to feel tears fill his eyes. 

_I don’t want him to go.. please.. I want him to be here with me now.. how can I save him? How can I bring him back? Please.. comeback Haechan-ah.. please.. I’m sorry.. I’m sorry.._ He finally cries then, curling up his body, hands clutching the shirt on his chest tightly. His chest just hurts so much. 

He cried until his eyes can’t take it anymore and sleep takes over him.

\-----

 

The alarm forces Mark to open his eyes. He looks at the window. The sun is up already and it’s bright outside. _Looks like it’s going to be a nice day._ He thought. 

He feels like going to school early today, just so he could enjoy the fresh morning air, the weather seems nice.

He walks out the door, but just as he stepped outside his phone slipped out of his hand and fell. “Shit-!” he yelled, surprised. He bends down and takes it, then starts walking again while checking his phone if there’s any damage on it. 

A few minutes into the walk he noticed it was getting less bright than before. Just then the wind blows hard and messed his hair. He looks up to the sky. 

The sky is a bit gloomy, and it feels bit chilly now. _It’s gonna rain soon._ Mark thought. _Huh. It was bright just earlier. So much for a morning walk._

Just as he looks down to the front again, he almost tripped on his own feet because his step stopped abruptly as a cat ran past him, he almost stepped on it. His heart beats faster, he freezes on the spot where he was standing, trying to calm his heart down. _God, what a way to start the day. First my phone, and then this._

Ignoring the weird familiar feeling in his chest, he then start walking again, faster this time, he has to get to the school before the rain starts pouring down. 

He was getting close to his school, but when he was about to turn on a corner, it starts raining. _Great. Why didn’t I bring an umbrella with me? Ugh. Good thing I left early today_. He then ran to the nearest store to take cover from the rain. It turns out to be a café. He never really noticed this café before. It’s such a nice small café though, just his type of café, he wonder why he never noticed this one.

As he waits for the rain to subside, he looks into the café. The interior looks nice. There’re not so many people inside. _This café is really nice. I should come here sometime._ He thought.

But then someone caught his eyes. _That waiter. He looks familiar. Very familiar._

_Wait. He’s going to fall._

And he’s right. The waiter fell and the drinks he was holding spluttered all around him on the floor. 

Mark turned his body abruptly to face the streets again, leaning his back on the wall behind him, surprised. His heart beats faster. _What is this? Why did I know about that? Why did this all felt so familiar? But I’ve never even meet that waiter before, have I? I didn’t even know this café existed until just now._ He asked himself.

Just then he saw Haechan passing. He was walking, not on his bike as usual, well obviously because of the rain. Mark knew he didn’t like wearing the rain coat. 

He’s under a very bright orange umbrella. Haechan saw him too and waved his hand at him while smiling. 

He felt his heart throb at the sight of that smile. Why does he felt like crying?

“Good morning hyung~” Haechan greets cheerfully as he walks towards Mark. Mark wants to answer his greetings but he can’t seem to find his voice. He just stand there looking at him.

“Hyung?”

“Uhm.. Good morning..” his voice came out a little shaky. _What is this feeling?_

“Hyung, you alright?”

“Y-yeah, yeah I’m good.”

“Okay then.. Let’s go..?” Haechan asked him, as he moved closer and share his umbrella with Mark.

Just as they start walking, Mark takes the handle from Haechan, so now he’s the one holding the umbrella for both of them.

“Good thing I saw you huh hyung?” Haechan said playfully.

“Yeah..” was the only thing he could think of an answer right now.

Haechan looked at his face closely. “Hyung.. you sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Uhm okay..” Haechan said.

They walk in silence after that, until Haechan asked “So.. hyung, are you free tonight?” 

Why does he feels like he doesn’t want to answer that question? 

“Yeah..” he answered anyway.

_“Then.. can I come over to your house tonight?”_

“Then.. can I come over to your house tonight?” 

_What? Why did I know what Haechan was going to say?_

He can feel his strength seeping out of his body. Why does he has this feeling that he knew what was going to happen?

“Hyung?” Haechan tried calling him.

“Hm?”

“You seemed a bit spaced out today.” Haechan stated.

“No, not really.”

“So.. can I come over later tonight?” He asked again.

“Yeah, of course. Why did you ask anyway? You never asked, you just show up on my door.”

Haechan lets out a little laugh at that “Just felt like it.” He said then, giving him a smile.

 _That smile._

Mark then sees images playing in his head. It’s like watching a movie but he was the one in it. There’re so much things going on in it, but looks like it was just some intermittent glimpses, nothing really make sense.

 _Wait_. One event catches his attention. It all felt blurry but.. _tonight.. Haechan confessed to me? Wait. Is that really tonight? Or is it on another day?_

 _What is this._ He asked himself again. His heart starts beating faster. Why he felt like he had been through all of this before? _This all felt too real to just be a dream._

The sun starts showing again, it became brighter, but there’re still a little drizzle pouring down. The air smells like earth. Mark really liked this smell in the air after the rain, he think it smells fresh. He takes a deep breath to calm himself down. 

He could catch Haechan’s scent faintly along with the fresh air. Mark didn’t know what perfume or shampoo Haechan was using, but he think he liked it too.

He looked to the side at Haechan, and Haechan noticed that, as he gave him a smile. That smile looks even more glowing under the shade of this orange umbrella. Mark never realizes that orange suits Haechan so much before. He felt this weird feeling in his stomach. 

\-----

He met Jeno and Renjun in the classroom.

“Hey did you feel weird today?” He can’t help but asked his two friends when he got to their seats.

“Uhm? No. Why? Please don’t tell me you eat some weird food again.” Jeno said. 

Mark then looked at Renjun who’s just shaking his head.

“No! I don’t know, I just felt this weird feeling since I wake up this morning. I noticed things I never noticed before.. and I saw images played in my head. Like some weird dream but it all just felt too real. And I have this weird déjà vu feeling all the time.”

“What kind of images?” Jeno asked while smirking and wiggling his eyebrows.

Mark slaps the back of his head. “What kind of thing were you thinking there dumbo?” 

Jeno laughed loudly at that, the other kids in the class started giving them weird looks. “Sorry, sorry. I was just messing with you. So. What kind of images?”

“You still make it sounds like you were asking some weird stuff.” Renjun shakes his head and chuckles, Mark laughed along with him.

“Whaat? I asked seriously this time.” Jeno whines.

“It’s…” _should I tell them that I think I saw Haechan confessing to me?_

Mark is still not sure about this. _Let’s just wait until tonight and see what’s going to happen. This all can’t be true, right?_ He thought.

“Never mind.” He said, then goes to his seat. The other two looked at each other and raised their eyebrows, then looked at Mark again.

“What..” Jeno started, but then decided that it was useless to ask Mark now, he won’t tell him. He looked at Renjun again but he just shrugged his shoulder. He’s just as confused as Jeno right now.

\-----

Mark checked the clock on his night stand. 

08:13 PM. From what he saw in the images in his head earlier, Haechan is going to get to his house at around 08:20 PM, his mom’s going to open the door and called him, telling him that Haechan’s there. He could feel his heart thumping in his ribcage right now.

He checked his clock again. 08:15 PM. _Five minutes to go._ He tries to divert his attention to something else, like his hair. He goes to the mirror and checked his appearance. _Why does it felt so weird? It almost feels like I’m.. nervous. It’s not like Haechan is really going to confess to me, right?_

He checked the clock again. 08:20 PM. The bell rings. 

His heart stopped. _This can’t be true._ Just as he was going to try to make sense of everything, his mom called him. 

“Mark, honey, Haechan’s here!”

_No way._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say ‘not for long’, didn’t I? :)
> 
> :* ❤


	5. About Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late update, sowry :’(
> 
> This chapter would be a bit.. uhm, I don’t know.. heavy..? So make sure you didn’t fall asleep while reading and miss anything! ㅋㅋㅋ

~~~  


This is probably a dream  
Just like my memories  
You’re right in front of me

It’s strange  
Even after a long time  
My heart keeps repeating that day

When I close my eyes  
My memories take me  
To that place again

I should definitely tell you today  
But I can’t make a sound

NCT U - Timeless  


~~~

  


“Yes, mom! Just tell him to go up!” Mark shouted back then goes to sit on his bed.  


He closed his eyes, trying to remember what clothes Haechan wore in his sights. _If this is real then he would wear the same outfits, right?_ Mark asked himself.  


His heart’s beating so fast it feels like it’s going to burst.  


He heard footsteps coming. It stopped in front of his door, then he heard a brief knock before the door opened. Mark opened his eyes as Haechan comes in, smiling as soon as he meets eyes with Mark.  


_That smile._  


Mark didn’t know what he was thinking and what’s going on with him right now but he kinda feels like he.. wants to hug Haechan. He feels like he missed that smile. He missed Haechan. It all just felt so weird, he didn’t realize it the first time he saw Haechan this morning. But looking at him now, he admit to himself that he miss him. Badly. Damn he almost cry this morning because of that smile. Why didn’t he realize that earlier?  


_But why though? I just met him yesterday, right?_  


“Hi hyung.” he heard Haechan greets him then.  


He looked at Haechan from head to toe. He just noticed that Haechan wore the same clothes as he did in his sights this morning.  


_No way. Is this all real? It’s really happening?_ His mind starts racing again.  


He just got so caught up in his own thoughts that he didn’t realize Haechan walking closer to where he is and he’s now sitting in front of him on the bed.  


Haechan started talking then, but Mark wasn’t really listening to him as his head feels like it’s spinning, he felt a little sick.  


But all the thoughts in his head stopped as he felt something soft touching his lips.  


Haechan just kissed him.  


“Hyung.. I think I’m in love with you.” Haechan said after he pulled away.  


_“Hyung.. I think I’m in love with you.”_ He heard those voice again in his head.  


Then he felt his heart suddenly pounding in his chest, his head feels light, and it feels like the fog that covering the images in his head suddenly disappeared. He remembered then. _Haechan died. He died. I was there, at his funeral._  


Mark looked at Haechan for a brief second then looked down again. He can’t believe this.  


_But he’s in front of me now. What is happening here? Did I.. go back to the past?_  


_No way._  


_But.. if it’s true.. if this is the day he confessed to me then this is exactly a week before his death. Does all that time repeating again?_  


_No, no. No. I can’t go through that again. No. I can’t stand seeing him die again. God, please no._ The fear seeps into him, he clenched his hands.  


_Unless.. what if I can do something and change things?_  


_But.. can I change things this time around though?_  


“Hyung? You spacing out again?” Haechan’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts.  


He looked at him again, longer this time, the emotions just got to him and he did what he wanted to do since the first time he saw Haechan that morning. Cry.  


“Hyung? Hyung I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I said. Just pretend that I didn’t say anything, please.” Haechan said, panicked as to why Mark is suddenly crying.  


Mark can’t talk right now because he knows that his voice won’t even come out, so he just shakes his head at that.  


“Please don’t cry.” He could hear Haechan said again.  


He grabbed Haechan’s hands then, he just wanted to make sure that he’s not just imagining things. He can feel the warmth on his skin. He could feel his heart throbbed even more. _You are real? You’re really here? I think I’ll never see you again Haechan-ah.. Thank you.. Thank you.._ His thoughts just run wild again, and he cried even more.  


They stayed like that until Mark finally come to his senses again and realized that he just cried, hard, in front of Haechan. He tries to hold back his tears and wipes his face. How could he cry in front of Haechan? _Embarrassing_. He thought to himself.  


He then raised his head and looked at Haechan, he looks really sad.  


“No, no. It’s not because of what you said.” Mark finally found his voice and speaks again.  


“Then why did you cry?” Haechan asked.  


“I don’t know.. because I’m happy, I guess?” _There’s no way I’m going to tell him about that._ Mark thought.  


Haechan then hugged him.  


“Are you sure? You looked pretty shaken back there.” He asked with muffled voice.  


Mark just hugged him back tightly and nodded.  


“So.. do you love me too?” Haechan asked then, quietly.  


“Honestly I… I don’t know.. give me some time to think okay?” Mark pulled away a little and smiled apologetically at him.  


Haechan let him go then, he nodded, smiling at him too.  


“So.. it’s better if I go home now, right?”  


“No, no. It’s okay if you want to stay for a little while. Let’s watch a movie or something”  


“No.. I think it’s better if I just go home hyung.. I don’t want to make this more.. awkward.” He let out a sheepish laugh. “Besides, you said you want to think about it, right? I’ll give you time to think.”  


“Okay then.. if you say so.”

  


So Haechan’s going home, but as Mark watched him stepped out of his house, he can’t help this feeling that appeared inside him, he started thinking about what happened in the past, how Haechan died. He suddenly just felt so scared again.  


Before he can even think further, he found his body moved towards Haechan, and as he gets within his reach, he pull his arm and hugged him, one hand around his waist, and the other on the back of his neck, holding him close.  


Mark still doesn’t believe what happened. He couldn’t believe Haechan is really here, in his embrace. Haechan is really back, he can feel his warmth, he can smell his scent, and he just doesn’t want to let go. But then he heard that soft voice.  


“Hyung..?” oh how he missed this voice calling him. He tighten his hold on Haechan. He could feel Haechan put his arm around him too, then he starts to rub his back.  


“Hyung what’s wrong?” Haechan asked.  


Mark lets him go slowly, then answered. “Nothing.” He said, but he could see from Haechan’s face that he didn’t believe that. “It’s nothing, really. Just.. go home safely.” He said again while patting Haechan’s head softly.  


Haechan raised his eyebrows. “Hyung. I literally lived next door.” he chuckled.  


“We never know.” Mark said, smiling sadly, retreating his hand back.  


Haechan furrowed his eyebrows, but he didn’t ask anything after that. “Okay.. See you tomorrow then!” he gave Mark a smile then starts walking again.  


Mark watched Haechan walked home. Haechan noticed that Mark is still looking when he reached his door, so he gave him a wave and a little smile before entering the house.

  


Little did Mark know that he hasn’t realize it yet again, that he didn’t really mind Haechan kissing him.

\-----  


  


It’s been a few days since Haechan confessed to him.  


Mark tried his best to act normal, and despite the fact that he’s still not sure about what to do, he didn’t want to avoid him like he did before. In fact, he wants to be close to Haechan all the time. He’s still not sure about what’s going to happen, what’s he supposed or not supposed to do, if the past will repeat itself or not, so he just wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t miss anything this time. He wants to spend as much time as possible with him.  


\-----  


Mark’s mom noticed that Mark has been weird lately. He looked so full of thoughts all the time, and he’s become quieter. Another weird thing is sometimes he answer her questions before she even finished it, and she often has this déjà vu feeling every now and then lately. _Maybe it already happened_. She thought.

She sits on the couch after she’s done cleaning the house for that day, drinking. But then the phone rings and she puts her glass of water on the table carelessly near the edge as she goes to pick up the phone which is near the kitchen counter hurriedly.  


Mark walks into the living room and saw the glass, he moved it a bit to the center of the table as his mom comes back to the living room.  


“Don’t put the glass there mom, you’ll drop it.” He said. Maybe in any other situation that sounds just like a normal advise, but to her, right now, it sounds like something that needs confirmation.  


“Mark, you have something to tell me?”  


“About..?”  


“Something that has to do with ‘time’, maybe.”  


To say that Mark is surprised is an understatement. _What is she talking about? It can’t be about that right? Did she find out about it? How? No way.. right?_  


“What are you talking about mom?” he tried asking calmly.  


“Come on, Mark. Ask for help when you really need one, baby. Don’t worry about things on your own all the time. You have me. You know you could tell me anything.” She said, now sitting back on the couch.  


_This is crazy. Should I really tell her about this? Is that the right thing to do? Would she even believe me?_  


But try to think of it, maybe this’s not bad at all. This is actually his chance to tell somebody. He’s so confused and alone by himself, with no one to talk to about this matter since it happened. He didn’t know what to do, or is it okay to change things in this time around, like what he just did, the glass didn’t fall like in the past because he moved it. So if he would tell anyone about this, he would tell this to the person he trusted the most. His mom.  


It sounds crazy but she seems to already have the idea of what’s happening anyway. _Maybe she even knew the reason why this is all happening and what I’m supposed to do about it. Maybe she could help me._  


“Okay mom.. I have to talk to you about something..” he started as he sits beside her on the couch. “I…” he stopped to take a long breath for a second.  


“I go back in time.” He finally said.  


He waits for his mom to laugh or ask him if he’s joking or something but she didn’t. She just looked at Mark seriously and asked “Mark. Are you sure about this? That it’s not just a dream?”  


“I don’t know too, mom. But I know what’s going to happen and I felt like I’ve been through all that before. I even could still feel it all now. So I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t just a dream.”  


“Okay. I can’t believe this. I’ve heard about it but I never really experience it so I don’t know if it’s really happening right now. I just have this feeling that it already happened, that’s why I asked you about it. Oh, Mark, I’ve been wanting to tell you about it but decided to just wait until you experienced it yourself. I didn’t even know if you would have it in the first place, so I just wait for it to happened. And turns out you have it.” his mom said very quickly, Mark is not sure if he even catch all that.  


“What is it? What’s happening?”  


“It was passed down for generations in my family, Mark. We call it the ‘second chance’. Like, literally, it was a second chance for the person experiencing it. The time will go back for a few days, but the time differs for every person. Until now, we didn’t know how it happened and why, but it’s been told that usually it happened after the death of someone we know and care about, someone we have a close relationship with.”  


“So it’s really a thing? I can’t believe this..”  


“Yes honey. I never experience it because I never lost someone really close to me over death yet.. even if someone I know died, I never really has something to regret over it. Maybe that’s why I didn’t have it.”  


“Something to regret? So.. we were given the ‘chance’ to fix things…?”  


“In conclusion, yes, maybe something like that. I never have it so I don’t really know. But what else could it be about if not for that, right? Oh, and it’s been told that it only happened once in a lifetime, so..”  


_So.. I can change things now? No. I ‘supposed’ to change things this time, right?_  


Silence filled the room then. Mark is still trying to process all this new and quite surprising information.  


“Who, Mark? Who died?” his mom broke the silence after a while.  


Mark’s not sure if he wanted to say it but he answered anyway “Haechan..” he said quietly.  


“Oh no.. poor baby..” Mark’s mom said sadly.  


Then one question suddenly popped in his mind. “Mom. This person that died in the past.. Would they die too in the end?”  


“I don’t know but.. if it’s destiny then everybody would die eventually, Mark.. we can’t change that.”  


“No.. no.. What should I do..?”  


“I’m sorry baby, but that’s for you to find out.” His mom patted his head.  


_No, I can’t lose him again. I don’t want to lose him again. I had been given this chance for a reason. I had to do something. There must be something that I could do._

\------

Mark walked to school with Haechan the next morning. He had texted Haechan to ask him last night, and it’s not easy for Mark because it’s actually his first time doing it, and it’s hard to convince Haechan that there was no actual reason behind it, but he just kept asking why. They didn’t usually walk to school together. Mark usually left earlier, he didn’t wait for Haechan. Haechan usually left later than him, that’s why he usually rides his bike, so he didn’t come late to the school.  


Mark just kept looking to the side at Haechan from time to time. His thoughts have been suffocating him. The question _‘would Haechan die this time too?’_ floating around in his head all the time since yesterday. So it’s actually nice to see Haechan all bright and excited right now. Especially in the morning like this. _He’s just so.. alive._ Mark smiled to himself.  


Suddenly Haechan run to a house and press the bell, then run again. Mark couldn’t believe this. “What..”  


But no time to think, he then starts running too. His heart beats faster because of the fear of being caught, and because of the run of course.  


“Haechan-ah! Why.. did you do that?” he whined when he finally caught up with him as they stopped to take a breath, panting after the run.  


Haechan just laughed at that, and Mark couldn’t help but laughed along too. He put his arm around Haechan’s neck, strangling him with one arm, pulling him to start walking again.  


“Come on, you brat.” He said while ruffling Haechan’s hair with his other hand. Haechan’s giggles filled the quiet early morning street.  


One thought filled Mark’s mind for the rest of the walk. _I’m glad that I’ve been given this chance to heard that laugh again._ Mark couldn’t help but feel bad at himself as to why did he never really appreciate this side of Haechan before.

  


“Bye, hyung~ see you after school!” Haechan said before kissing his cheek and starts walking away towards his class.  


Mark watched that retreating back until it disappeared among the crowd.  


“Hey, Mark.” He heard someone called him. He turned his head to look at who’s calling him. It’s Yukhei.  


“Hey..?”  


_This is happening again?_  


“Your boyfriend? You two seemed close.” He asked as he tipped his head towards where Haechan’s direction was.  


Mark’s not sure of what to answer this time. But what is he supposed to say then? He can’t say yes. _We’re not like that.. yet.. Uhm, what?_ His own mind surprised him.  


“So.. yes?” Yukhei asked again.  


“No..” Mark finally said.  


“Thank god. What’s his name?”  


“Haechan.”  


“Ooh.. Haechan. Cute.” Yukhei smiled at himself while looking down for a second, before he raised his head and met Mark’s eyes again. “Thanks man, gotta go.”  


Something in Mark doesn’t feel right this time around too.  


\-----  


Mark noticed that even though now he didn’t avoid Haechan like in the past, some things would still happen, like how Yukhei asked about Haechan earlier. _Damn, they might be getting close too now_. Mark didn’t know why but he didn’t like where this is going.  


But then one thought hit him and it went racing after that. _Wait. This is different from my mom’s glass of water. It didn’t fall this time because I moved it. But I can’t change what Yukhei’s going to do, right? Wait.. Actually, I can. His question. Maybe if I answered it differently, some things might change? Well I can’t be sure about that now, because I already answered that the same way I did in the past, but the point is, I can affect the things that I personally involved in, right? So later.. If I change my answer in ‘that’ one particular moment, will Haechan still die?_  


  


~~~  


Calum Scott – You are the Reason  


~~~  



	6. Feelings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve been busy so.. real slow progress.. *sigh

~~~

The playgrounds they get rusty and your  
Heart beats another ten thousand times before  
I got the chance to say  
I want you

New Empire – A Little Braver

~~~

 

“Yukhei hyung seems to like you so much huh? He’s sticking to you lately.” Jaemin said as Haechan sat on his seat, after he waved goodbye to Yukhei at the door before entering the class. Jaemin had walked to the class with Haechan earlier, but Yukhei come to them in the middle of the way and Jaemin thought he started to look like a fool then, just standing there, looking at the two talking so excitedly, so he left Haechan there on the hall with Yukhei and went to the class first.

“What’s with that tone? Are you jealous baby? Aww don’t worry, there’s no such thing as that.” Haechan chuckled, patting Jaemin’s cheek playfully, pouting his lips.

“Yeah, right. Then what do you call it when a person came to you out of nowhere, talk to you, turns out that they already know your name, and then they just started sticking to you, asking you to hang out with them.”

“Don’t flatter me dumbo, maybe ‘they’ just wanted to be my friend?” Haechan rolled his eyes.

“Well, it’s not like ‘he’ was ‘lacking’ friends, right? He’s famous for god’s sake.” Jaemin retorts.

“Well, what’s wrong with wanting some more friends? Besides, maybe he just thought that I’m different? Maybe he found me interesting? I don’t know. Maybe I’m ‘that’ powerful.” He shrugs, smirking.

“Yeah, he’s interested in you alright. I could see that subtle touch he gave you here and there when you guys talked. Believe me I saw hearts in his eyes when he looked at you.”

“What?” Haechan laughed, shaking his head. “You read too much into this, friend. Stop worrying. Besides, we didn’t know if he even swing that way.” He said then stands up. “I’m going to the bathroom for a sec” then he left.

_This’s exactly why I’m worried. Can’t he see that Yukhei hyung is into him? It’s pretty obvious._

_If things keep going on like this then what about Mark hyung?_ Jaemin didn’t say it to Haechan but he had thought about that question for days now.

\-----

Tomorrow is the day Haechan ‘supposed’ to die in the past. 

Mark is feeling anxious for the past few days, and as the time gets closer and closer he just feels even more desperate. He wants to try what he thinks is the way to maybe change things. Maybe he could even save Haechan and keep him alive. But he’s afraid. He’s just so afraid that it won’t work and Haechan still die in the end. If that happens then what’s he going to do? He don’t think he could go through the fact that he can’t save Haechan and Haechan just had to die. Again. 

_Please. It would be a miracle if Haechan lives through the day tomorrow. Please. Please.._

_But if tomorrow Haechan still dies.._

Before he could even think things through, his hand moves to grab his phone and pressed call to Haechan’s number. It only came down to him when he heard a voice.

“Hello? Hyung?”

“Uhm?” Mark’s mind is blank, he didn’t expect to hear that voice.

“Hyung? What’s happening? Why are you calling this late? Did something happen?”

“Uhm.. do you.. want to go out somewhere?”

 _What?_ Mark asked himself. Actually he didn’t know what to say to answer that questions, his mouth just spit those words out.

“Go out? Now?” 

“Yeah.. uhm.. you know what, just forget about it. Sorry. Bye.” Mark brings the phone down, ready to end the call.

“Wait! Hyung!” he could hear Haechan shouted through the phone so he put the phone back on his ear again “Hyung hyung hyung!”

“Yeah..?” Mark answered.

“Actually I kinda want to walk out a bit. Let’s go.”

 

“Where are we going hyung?” Haechan asked as they walk down the street.

Mark puts his arm around Haechan’s shoulder.

“Let’s grab something warm to drink first. It’s a bit chilly right?” Mark said, smiling.

Haechan looked at the hand around his shoulder, then turned his head to look at Mark’s face, raised his eyebrows, but then nodded. “On you, right?” he grinned.

“On me” Mark nodded.

Haechan pumps his fist up in the air.

 _This kid._ Mark just let out a little laugh at that.

 

So they went to the nearest 24 hour convenience store to buy the drinks. As soon as they get their drinks, they stepped out to the street again and continued their walk.

“So? Where are we going?” Haechan asked, sipping his drink, but then jerked his head back and put his tongue out. The drink’s just too hot.

 _Cute_. Mark thought, grinning. “Actually.. I don’t know, I just felt like going out but don’t know to where..” Mark chuckled. “You have somewhere you wanna go?”

“Hm.. What about the park?”

“Okay with me.” Mark nodded. He just wanted to let Haechan do what he wants so he would just agree to anything Haechan’s suggesting right now, but the truth is he felt a bit uneasy hearing the word ‘park’.

Mark is sure Haechan was on the way to the park when he got hit by that car.

He knew Haechan likes that place. The park is not that big, but it’s enough for their town. They’ve been playing there since they were little but as they grew up it became less and less frequent for them to go there. He knew Haechan likes to go there alone when he felt troubled or sad. The swing helps him to think, he once said.

“Okay let’s go.” Haechan said excitedly while clapping his hands.

But they’re making a big mistake to go there at this hour.

 

The park’s usually closed at around 10 PM, so it’s ‘supposed’ to be empty now. But Haechan knew a way in. 

The park’s street lights are not that bright, it’s just some small decorative lamps placed along the sidewalk, and some placed around the big trees. It left the area in a bit dim atmosphere. _It’s pretty_. Mark thought. He never been in the park at night before.

But as soon as they turn on the corner, just about to get to the playground area, they saw a figure in the playground, on the swing, to be exact. 

Haechan grabbed Mark’s arm, but keep following Mark who’s still walking forward anyway. 

Only when they get closer, they could see that there are actually two people on the swing. Well, one on the swing and one sitting on the ground, facing the one on the swing. Or. Not facing, more like, sucking.

“Shit.” Haechan whispered then covered his mouth with both hands.

Mark looked at Haechan’s face. If he’s not flustered himself, he actually thought that face Haechan’s making right now is pretty cute, he wanted to pat those cheeks. But first things first, they had to get out of there. So Mark turned on his heels, grabbed Haechan’s arm and pulled him to walk out of the park.

They walk in silence until they sit on a bench just before exiting the park. This area has more lights, so it’s pretty bright here compared to where they were before.

“Well that’s..” Haechan starts.

“Awkward..?” Mark offers.

“Yeah..” Haechan chuckled.

“What did we expect? An empty park with dim lights, definitely a place for those things.” Mark grunts, facepalming.

Haechan giggled. “Then what are we gonna be doing there hyung? Those things too?”

“W-what?” Mark lowered his hand from his face.

Haechan chuckled at that.

“You-! come here you!” Mark circled his arm around Haechan’s neck, strangling him, then start tickling his stomach. “You’re the one suggesting us to go here!” 

Haechan laughed loudly. “Please. Please hyung. Nooo” He laughed, Mark is still attacking him. He tried grabbing Mark’s hands to stop him. “Hyung! No more please! Okay! Okay okay I’m sorry!” Mark stopped then. Haechan tried to catch his breath for a second before speaking again. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know we’re going to encounter those kind of thing.” He chuckled.

“Yeah, right..” Mark squinted his eyes.

“No, I’m serious hyung.” Haechan slapped Mark’s shoulder playfully, grinning. “I just want to show you the park at night. You’ve never been there at night, right? I’ve been there at night before, just not this late at night.. anyways, it’s beautiful right?”

“Yes it is. I like the lamps, they’re pretty.” 

“Yeah I like them too!” Haechan smiled. 

Mark gives him a smile too then stands up, going to the nearest trash can to throw away the empty cup. 

“So.. where are we going next hyung?” Haechan asked as he followed Mark and stands up too.

“I think I’ve had enough walk for tonight. Let’s just go home? We have school tomorrow.”

“Just thought about that now, huh?” Haechan chuckled. “Okay then” he shrugged and linked his arm with Mark’s as they start walking. 

Mark didn’t even try to pry his arm off of Haechan’s grip. Actually he kinda likes how close Haechan is to him right now, and how Haechan put his head on his shoulder sometimes along the walk.

 

Mark has to admit that he really enjoyed the whole time he spent with Haechan that night.

\-----

Haechan catches Mark outside the school gates after the school ended the next day. No. Actually Mark has been waiting for him. He’s dying to see Haechan since the day started but he didn’t have the guts to ask him to go to school together this morning. He’s just so afraid that when he sees that face he couldn’t hold it all in and starts crying again. He didn’t know what’s got into him last night that he had all those courage and actually enjoy his time with Haechan.

“Hyung! Let’s go home together!” Haechan said as he stopped the bike beside Mark.

_Here it is. If I answer differently, will everything change?_

“Okay..” Mark said as he raised his head that has been down the whole time he was waiting for Haechan, meet Haechan’s eyes, and give him a little smile. Mark found it’s hard to even keep his breath steady.

Haechan gets down to the extra seat and just sit there with a wide smile on his face, waiting for Mark to get on the bike.

_Please. This has to work._

Mark’s heart is thumping in his chest. His hands felt cold. He rides the bike carefully. Very carefully.

“Hyung..” Mark heard Haechan said. They were halfway to their home now.

“Hm?”

“Let’s talk.”

“Okay..? About what?”

“Why don’t we find a place first? It’s kinda hard to talk like this” Haechan said.

“Uhm.. okay, where do you want to go?”

“What about the park? It’s nice the-” Mark stopped the bike. He felt his heart stop beating for a second, he almost let out a gasp. _Not the park._

“No.” he said quickly.

“No? Why not? Don’t tell me it’s because the thing we saw last night.” Haechan chuckled. 

Mark then starts pedaling again. “It’s not that.. Let’s just.. go home, okay?” Mark said with a tone he didn’t mean to use but he’s just not in the mood to talk anymore. He just wants them to get home safely as soon as possible so he just let that words hang in the air.

“Okay..” he heard Haechan answered quietly.

The ride home was silent from there on.

 

They arrived at Haechan’s house safely.

Mark still couldn’t believe this is really happening. Haechan lives. _He really lives._ Mark thought. He just felt so happy and.. relieved. But it didn’t last long though.

“So.. hyung. What I wanted to talk about is.. what do you think about what I said that night? Have you think about that yet?” Haechan asked suddenly as they walk to the side of the house to put away the bike.

 _Oh god._ “Uhm..” Mark’s head is just so full of thoughts about what he’s supposed to do to save Haechan for the past few days, he completely forgot to think about what he’s supposed to say regarding ‘this’ matter.

 _What am I supposed to say?_ Mark scratches the back of his neck. “Sorry I-“

“It’s okay, hyung. I know you didn’t like me like that. You just didn’t know how to tell me right?” 

“Haechan-ah-“

“You feel bad for me. That’s why you’re so nice to me for this past week right? I know it’s hard for you to tell me hyung. I’m sorry if I pushed you into this. I just thought that maybe I should tell you about this before you graduate and go.”

“It’s not-”

“No it’s okay hyung. I’m fine. Really.” Haechan gives him a small smile. “I’m going first.” He said and walked into his house.

\-----

“I’m home” Mark said.

“Hey, baby. How’s your day?” his mom shouted from the kitchen. But she didn’t hear any response after that.

“Mark?” his mom called as she walks into the living room.

“Mom. Haechan was supposed to die today. On the way home from school. Today. But he didn’t. He went home safely. He.. lives.” Mark just went straight to the point. He couldn’t hold it in any longer.

“What? Really? Did you do something?” his mom asked excitedly.

“I.. I went home with him. I didn’t go home with him last time, then he died. So I thought maybe if I go home with him this time, he wouldn’t die. And.. it worked. I still can’t believe this.”

“That’s great news, honey!” she said and goes to hug him tightly.

 _It is. But.. what now?_ Mark asked himself.

\-----

Mark’s woken up by the ring of the phone the next morning. It was really quiet that the ring of the phone could be heard through the entire house. _It must be still very early_. Mark thought. He looked at the clock on his nightstand.

6 AM. _Who called this early in the morning?_

The ring stopped midway. His mom must’ve picked it up.

He tried to sleep again but after half an hour he gives up. He can’t seem to fall asleep again so he get out of his room. 

“Who called us so early in the morning?” He asked his mom as he entered the kitchen, looking for some breakfast.

“Haechan’s mom. She had to leave early to go out of town today and she called to tell that Haechan is sick and she was asking if we can check on him from time to time.”

 _Haechan’s sick?_ That’s the only thing in his mind as he get ready for school that day.

 

“Here, Mark. Bring this to Haechan before you go to school okay? Poor baby must haven’t eaten breakfast yet.” His mom said with such pity in her voice as she handed Mark a box of food. Sometimes Mark wonders if she takes Haechan as her own baby. 

“Alright, I’m going.”

 

 _How do I face him now?_ Mark asked himself as he stand there in front of Haechan’s door.

He ring the bell. Haechan opened the door after a while.

“Hey.. My mom told me to give you this.” He said abruptly then brings his hand out to give Haechan the box.

“Oh. Thank you hyung. Please tell auntie I really appreciate the meal.” Haechan takes the box, gives him a small smile then moves back to close the door. 

_He sounds so weak._ Mark thought.

“Wait.” Mark hold the door open.

Haechan looked at him with an expression Mark didn’t really know the meaning of. And Mark didn’t know what he’s doing right now, actually. He just doesn’t want to go from there yet. He just saw Haechan, he wanted to make sure that he’s okay. He has to come up with something.

“Uhm.. get well soon.” Was all he could think of.

“Okay.” Haechan nodded his head and give him a small smile again.

Mark let go of the door then. He gives up on talking. “You have to rest well.” 

Haechan nodded again. 

“I’m.. going then.”

Haechan just nodded again at that and closed the door.

\-----

“Hey Mark!” Mark was on the way out of the school gates when someone called him. It’s Yukhei.

“Where’s Haechan? I didn’t see him all day.”

Mark knows Yukhei is getting close with Haechan now, just like in the past.

Mark has this feeling that he didn’t like where this is going, but.. Why though? Why it’s so hard to figure this all out? However he thinks of it, this all still felt so.. weird. 

Mark could see that Yukhei really likes Haechan. Like, seriously. And Mark thinks Haechan enjoyed being with Yukhei too as he often saw the two talked and laughed together. Like, a lot. Although they only known each other for a few days now, they just seem to get along very well. Haechan looked so comfortable around him. Haechan looked.. happy.

Then a thought seeps into his mind. _What if.. this’s the reason this all happened? So I could save Haechan and so he could be with Yukhei?_

_That sounds..._

“Helloo earth to Maarkk.”

Mark snapped out of his thoughts then.

“Hm?”

“Where’s Haechan?” Yukhei asked again.

“He’s.. sick.”

“Oh no. Since when?”

“This morning.”

“You guys are neighbors right? Can I come with you? I want to visit him.”

Mark raised his eyebrows at that. He has this urge to say no but who is he to say that anyway? 

“Okay.”

\-----

They arrived at Haechan’s house and Mark pressed the bell. 

But no one answered. 

He tries pressing it again. 

Still no sign of any person inside. Mark starts to panicked. He grabs his phone then calls Haechan.

It ringed for a few seconds before a voice answered. “Hello..?” the voice said groggily. _Did he was asleep?_

“Were you asleep Haechan-ah? Sorry if I woke you.”

“Yeah.. but it’s okay hyung.. what’s up?”

“I’m in front of your house. Can you open the door?”

“What? Really? Why?” he could hear the surprise in Haechan’s voice, but then just as he was about to answer his question, Haechan hung up on him.

He could hear some ruffling sounds inside the house, and the door opened not long after that.

“Hyung.” Haechan smiled at him. Then he move his eyes to the side and just then Haechan realize that Mark is not alone.

“Yukhei hyung? Hi!” he said and smiled to him too.

Yukhei waved a little at him, grinning. 

“Come on in.” Haechan opened the door wider for them to come in.

“How are you feeling now Haechan-ah?” Yukhei asked as they sit on the couch. Mark was going to sit beside Haechan but Yukhei beats him to it. _Well. Somebody is eager huh._ Mark thought.

“I didn’t see you today so I asked Mark where you were and he said that you were sick..” Yukhei starts to stroke Haechan’s hair slowly. “I didn’t know where you live so I asked Mark if I can tag along with him home so I could go to your house.” He gave a sweet smile to Haechan.

Haechan smiled at him too. _Oh?_ Mark thought. _Are they really that close already?_

“Well thank you, hyung. But I’m okay now. I even think that I can go to school tomorrow.”

“Really? Great, then!” Yukhei said excitedly, now rubbing Haechan’s back gently. They’re still smiling at each other.

 _What am I doing here? Watching them talk? I have to say something._

“Are you going to be okay alone tonight Haechan-ah?” he ended up asking.

Haechan nodded, giving Mark a smile.

But then Yukhei asks “You alone here Haechan-ah?” he grabbed Haechan’s arm.

“Yeah.. my mom has to work out of town. She just left this morning.”

“I’ll stay over then!” Yukhei said excitedly.

 _What?_ Mark thought.

“Really hyung?” Haechan asked.

“Of course! I can’t leave you alone like this!” Yukhei patted Haechan’s head.

“I’ll stay over too, then.” Mark said without much thinking.

“No, it’s okay, hyung. You don’t have to. Besides, Yukhei hyung said he’ll stay so you don’t have to worry about me.” 

“Yeah, just leave him to me. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you what you missed tomorrow okay?” Yukhei chuckled.

“Fine. Just.. call me if you need anything okay?” he reaches out his hand, passing Yukhei, then the next thing he know he’s now caressing Haechan’s face, rubbing his thumb on his cheek. He pulls his hand back slowly when he realized what he’s doing. He really don’t want to leave him. _But it’ll be weird if I insist on staying right?_

Mark felt stupid for asking that one question that lead into this.

 

~~~

Oh you really look happy, you look happy  
When I see you, so beautiful that it’s sad  
I don’t hate him, I don’t hate him  
Because he makes you smile like an angel

Words that became a secret before I said them  
That’s why I wasn’t for you

The two eyes looking at each other  
The one remaining pair of eyes, the lost eyes  
The two eyes, tightly shut  
The eyes that are too late, the eyes that lost you

EXO – What If..

~~~


	7. Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready for some drama~ ㅋㅋㅋ
> 
> Oh, and WARNING! underage drinking, just implicitly tho. 

~~~

Why didn’t I realize  
Why did I tell lies  
Yeah I wish that I could do it again  
Turnin’ back the time, back when you were mine  
All mine

So this is heartache?  
So this is heartache?  
All this pain in the chest, my regrets, and things we never said oh baby

So this is heartache?  
So this is heartache?  
What me meant, what we said that night.. Why did I let you go?  
I miss you

 

ONE OK ROCK – Heartache (Eng. Ver.)

~~~

 

“So.. Yukhei hyung told me that we all should hang out when I feel better. He said he wanted to know you guys more.” Haechan said, scanning the room to look at all of the dreamies. They were at Haechan’s house, his mom is still out of town so they’re hanging out in his home after school as usual. “When do you guys are free?” Haechan asked with a smile on his face.

“Really? Yukhei hyung?” Chenle asked excitedly.

“Well. I’m free today.” Jisung said from the couch where he was splayed on.

“Yeah, me too!” Chenle added.

“Well, I’m still going either way.” Jaemin said quietly with his eyes still on his phone.

“I’m..” Renjun started hesitantly but then Jeno grabs his hand. 

“You’re free, right?” Jeno asked him.

Renjun looked at Jeno for a second and said “Yeah..” he then turned to look at Haechan again “yeah, I’m free”

Jeno turned his head towards Haechan too. “Me too”.

Mark noticed the couple started whispering to each other after that, while glancing at him every now and then. _What? Are they talking about me?_ But Mark didn’t have the time to think about what they could be whispering about when suddenly Haechan asked him.

“Mark hyung?” Haechan called him.

“Uh? Uh.. yeah, I’m free too.”

“So.. tonight is fine right?”

“Well I got nothing to do anyway.” Jeno said and the others nodded at that.

“Okay, I’ll tell Yukhei hyung then.” Haechan said while start typing on his phone.

 _He got his number now?_ Mark asked himself.

“What are we going to do by the way?” Renjun asked suddenly.

Haechan looked up from his phone with a smile on his face. “Uhm? Oh, well turns out that Yukhei hyung likes to watch movies too!” Haechan said excitedly. “So he suggested that maybe we could watch a movie, oh! there’s this nice one playing, and after that maybe we could grab some light diner or something.”

Mark has this weird feeling about all this. He felt a bit.. suffocated..? And it’s not helping that Jeno kept giving him this weird look all the time since Haechan started talking about Yukhei. Not to mention that whispering thing he and Renjun did earlier.

“Hmm.. Sounds like a date to me.” Jaemin said after he heard what Haechan said, he’s finally looking up from his phone.

Mark could catch the sarcastic tone from Jaemin and he frowned. _Hm? What was that?_

“What date? There’re literally eight of us.” Haechan frowned.

“Yeah.. sure..” Jaemin shrugs and looks at his phone again.

Haechan’s phone ringed then and he looks down at his phone.

“So.. Yukhei hyung told me that he’ll pick us up by seven, maybe? You guys good by seven?”

“Yeah” some of them answered. Well. All of them answered, except for Mark.

“Okay then.” Haechan smiled and start typing again on his phone.

\-----

The bell rings.

Haechan was standing there when Mark opened the door. 

“Hi hyung. Ready yet?” 

“Yeah, just lemme grab my things first.”

Mark felt kinda weird since yesterday. Haechan acted like nothing happened between them. Like he never confessed to him. Like he’s really okay with Mark ‘rejecting’ him. And about that. Actually, Mark really wanted to get that ‘assumption’ right. He’s not rejecting him. Well, he isn’t, right? He’s just still not sure about all this thing called ‘love’. But he can’t seem to has the will to talk about it with Haechan now as he seems to get over it already. _Talking about it would just trigger another problem.. right?_

“Is that all hyung?” Haechan asked as Mark coming back to the door.

“Yeah”

“Okay, let’s go.” Haechan gives him a small smile and turns his body to walk away.

They walk to a car parked in front of Haechan’s home, and even from the distance between them and the car right now, Mark could see that there’s Yukhei, sitting on the driver seat.

“Jeno and Renjun hyung told me that they’ll just meet us there.” Haechan said when they entered the car. He sits on the passenger seat next to Yukhei. While Mark sits on the backseat.

Mark didn’t feel very excited about this trip already.

“So who are we going to pick up next, sir?” Yukhei asked playfully.

Haechan chuckled a little at that and answered. “We should pick Jaemin first, then Chenle, and then Jisung.” Haechan said with a demanding tone.

“Okey dokey sir.” Yukhei gave him a salute then started the car. Haechan chuckled a little again at that.

 _Why does it feels like I don’t belong here?_ Mark sighed.

\-----

So they watch a movie first, just like their plan. But Mark didn’t plan on sitting beside Haechan, no. It just happened, they didn’t really make seats arrangement or something like that, except for the couple, Jeno and Renjun. Well he’s not complaining about sitting next to Haechan, but sitting beside Haechan is making him feel.. nervous? Because the thing is, Yukhei is sitting next to Haechan too on his other side. Mark doesn’t like this. He’s had enough of the two after the thing in the car earlier. He felt a bit sick already. 

Halfway through the movie there’s this one scene that makes the whole room screamed, including the kid next to him, read : Jaemin, and the kid next to Jaemin, Chenle. He himself didn’t scream because he knew that part was coming, he could feel it, but what made him almost screamed, is that Haechan grabbed his hand that was on the armrest when he gasped out of surprise because of the scene.

Mark didn’t know why but he just feel like he wanted to comfort Haechan, he doesn’t want that hand to let go. He moved his hand so he could hold Haechan’s hand properly but Haechan pulls his hand back quickly before he could even do that. “Sorry, hyung” He whispered.

_Uhm? Why did you say sorry?_

Mark’s mind is just a mess afterwards. He’s not really paying attention to the movie anymore, but then one scene finally caught his eyes. The guy and the girl in the movie were kissing.

His eyes started to play tricks on him as now he didn’t see the characters on the screen anymore, instead he saw them replaced by Haechan and.. himself?

 _Oh? What.._ He could feel his heart beating faster.

Mark looked to the side at Haechan. His profile.. his pretty eyes, that cute nose and those lips.. those lips looked very soft.

_Wait. What was I thinking?!_

He can’t let this bother him so he tried shaking his head to make the images go away.

He then looked at the scene playing in front of him again, the characters just pulled away from each other, but then he saw Haechan again on the screen. The same scene from before played again in his head, but this time, he, was replaced with Yukhei. 

“Shit.” He said aloud, surprising himself.

He looked to the side at Haechan, who’s already looking at him with raised eyebrows. “What is it hyung?” he whispered. 

“N-nothing.” He answered, shaking his head frantically.  
_What was that? Damn I gotta get my head fixed._

 

Mark spends the rest of the night trying not to think about those images, and about how Yukhei seems to be enjoying this night a little too much with Haechan by his side.

\------

Everything started to get normal again for Mark a few days after that. Well. As normal as it could be with the fact that Haechan and Yukhei sticks to each other even more now. The truth is, Mark is getting a bit.. worried. And he has every reason to feel worried.

Mark, Jeno and Renjun are planning to go to a party for the seniors that Yukhei held at his house. All the seniors are invited, it was a graduation party, Yukhei said, which Mark thought was weird, because they haven’t even go through the exams yet. But because Yukhei said all seniors are invited, and both his friends were very excited about it, they make it sound like it’s an obligation to come, so even though he doesn’t really has the intention on going, Mark is going to the party anyway. Well, ‘forced’ on going.

Now the problem for Mark is that not only he didn’t like to go to parties, but Haechan was asking if he could come along too.

“Can I come with you hyung?” Haechan went to his house that night, as he was getting ready to go to the party. He’s been asking the same question since the news about the party being spread out.

“No, you can’t.”

“Whyy??” he whined.

“Just because.”

“Hyung pleaasee”

“No. You can’t.”

“Why though? Because I’m not a senior? I know that. That’s why you have to bring me there. I can’t get in there by myself.”

“I’m sorry but no.”

Mark wouldn’t let him come along, of course. Seeing how reckless Haechan is, it is not a good idea to bring him to a party where drinks and many seniors are present. Including Yukhei. _No, it’s not about Yukhei_. He kept telling himself.

\-----

Jeno and Renjun said that they’ll just meet Mark at the party, so now here’s Mark, alone in a party.

As he entered the house the music started to deafened his ear. The lights are a bit dim, some area even left to be dark, and there’re just so many people inside he thought maybe his whole school is here. He didn’t even recognize some of these faces. One thing he admits now about Yukhei is that _this guy sure is famous._

And now, minutes into the party and Mark is still alone.  
_Where are they? They’re not even answering my calls. We’re supposed to meet here 20 minutes ago._

Mark’s not enjoying the party. There’re just too many people he didn’t know here. He’s not comfortable walking through these grinding bodies. The music’s too loud too. And the drinks.. ugh. Not to mention the non presence of his two friends until now. He was thinking about ditching his friends and just go home more frequently now.

Mark stayed near the door, it’s less crowded here, and he could see everybody coming in and out of the house, just in case Jeno and Renjun finally decided to show up.

He looked to the door everytime it opened. But who entered the house next is not someone he expected. He’s not supposed to be there in the first place. 

_What is he doing here?_

He walked towards that figure and grabs his hand as he gets close enough, pulling him away from another familiar figure beside him, the one that opened the door for him.

They walked away from the crowd. Mark settles on a quite empty corner and turned his body to talk.

“Haechan what are you doing here?”

“I asked Yukhei hyung and he invited me." He smiled.

“I told you, you can’t come here.”

“Why? Because I’m not seniors like you? Don’t worry hyung, Yukhei hyung got my back.”

“But-”

“Don’t worry hyung. I can take care of myself.”

Just then Yukhei comes to them.

“Hey Mark! Enjoying the party?” he pats Mark’s shoulder, grinning.

 _No_. Mark just gave him a small smile, not in the mood to actually talk to the guy. He really wanted to ask him _why did you bring Haechan here?_ But he didn’t want to ask it in front of Haechan like this. 

But then Yukhei answered him.

“Well why didn’t I? It wouldn’t be fun without him, right?” he gave Haechan a smile.

_Shit did I really just ask that out loud?_

_And what’s with that face?_ Mark frowns as he looked at Yukhei’s smile.

“Let’s dance Haechan-ah” suddenly Yukhei said and grabs Haechan’s arm then pulls him to walk to the area that considered to be the ‘dance floor’ before Mark could even respond to their talk earlier. 

“Uhm?” Haechan then looked back at him and said, “later hyung!”

Mark is left there standing alone, with this sick feeling in his stomach. He then decided to find a place to lean on and ‘watch’ the two.

 

Mark checked his phone. It’s been almost half an hour now that the two were ‘dancing’. They were just jumping along the song that was being played and laughing non-stop. _What are they even laughing about? Haechan looked really happy.._ Mark couldn’t help but think, his chest felt heavy.

Then this one song ended and some slow dance music started. Lucas just wraps his arm around Haechan’s body and his other hand holds Haechan’s hand. _What are they doing?_ Mark frowned, his chest felt even heavier than before. The two he was watching still throw a little laugh at each other, though now their ‘dancing’ gets a little less jumpy.

One second Mark saw them just laughing at each other, and then one second Mark’s heart dropped looking at the scene happening in front of him. Yukhei just leaned in and kissed Haechan. Mark could hear everyone around him gasped.

Mark felt as if the time stopped then. He can’t hear anything. He can’t see anything else beside the two figures standing not too far in front of him.

But that only lasted a second, as now everything come back to him, the loud music, the screaming, and the pain in his chest. He looked down, he couldn’t see the scene happening in front of him anymore, he just turned his body and walk away. He wanted to walk away as far as he could from there. 

He just walk and walk, but as he was passing some crowd, a hand grabbed his shoulder and pull him back, make him stumble on his feet a little and turned his body around. Mark was pissed by the sudden force this person put on him, he raised his head and throw a glare at them. But then he feels a bit calmed down when he saw two familiar faces.

“Mark what is going on between Haechan and Yukhei? Are they a thing now?” Jeno asked. Renjun slaps his arm for it. 

“Don’t go straight to the point like that!” Renjun yell-whispered to Jeno.

“Why? Something is wrong here. I need explanation.” Jeno rubs his aching arm.

“So. Mark? What is it now? What’s happening?” he asked again.

“I don’t know.” He doesn’t want to talk about it. His chest still hurts.

“How could you say you don’t know? Did you see them earlier? Something is clearly happening there!”

“Yes I know that!” 

“So why, Mark? Why didn’t you do anything about it?”

“What do you want me to do? Yukhei likes him. He seems to like him back. What am I supposed to do about that huh? Stop them? Who am I anyway?” 

“You’re-!” Jeno was ready to give Mark a piece of his mind but Renjun stopped him by grabbing his hand and continues Jeno’s words. “You’re his best friend. He’s in a party. With all these seniors and drinks. Don’t you feel at least a bit worried about him?” Renjun asked softly.

“I..” _of course I’m worried about him_. “He can take care of himself. He said so to me.” He instead said.

“So you’ve talked to him?” Renjun asked.

“Well, yeah, I saw him coming earlier and Yukhei opened the door for him.”

The two didn’t speak again after that. They just looked at each other with an expression Mark didn’t know how to interpret.

“If you’re done asking questions then I’m going” Mark turned his body, ready to walk away. But there’s a hand holding him back again.

“Where?” Jeno asked.

Mark shrugged off the hand and just started walking away.

“Don’t do anything stupid Mark” was the last thing Mark heard coming from Renjun.

\-----

Mark didn’t know what time it is that he left the party or how, but he’s standing in front of Haechan’s door now. He didn’t know what he’s doing there. He just know that he wants to see Haechan’s face. Badly.

So he pressed the bell.

Haechan opened the door. “Hyung? What are you doing here?”

“Haechaaann” was all Haechan could catch from the things Mark slurred. 

“Hyung! You’re drunk?!” He looked around. “You haven’t come home, right? You can’t come home like this!”

Mark shakes his head at that, grinning.

“Come on in!” Haechan pulled Mark inside and help him sit on the couch. 

“What the hell are you doing hyung? Getting drunk? This is so not like you!”

“I.. hmmh” Mark fell face first on the couch. His head feels so heavy.

“Hyung!” Haechan hold Mark’s head and grab a pillow nearby, raised Mark’s head a little, made him turns his body so now he’s laying on the couch and put the pillow under Mark’s head. “Sleep. Just sleep, okay?”

Mark grab Haechan’s hand that was behind his head and pull it close to his face. He put it against his cheek and Haechan is confused because Mark is not usually like this. Well but he’s drunk, so Haechan just let him, he didn’t think too much about it.

But then Mark turned his head a little and kissed Haechan’s hand. “W-what.. hyung..?” Haechan tried to look at Mark’s face closely but Mark just close his eyes and Haechan could feel the hold on his hand had loosen then and he knew Mark is fast asleep already.

\-----

Mark wakes up in the morning feeling dizzy and confused. He didn’t remember coming home last night.   
_Wait.. this is not my home._ He sits up abruptly and looks around the room from the couch he was sitting on then realized that this home looks familiar though. Very familiar. It hits him then. _Why am I in Haechan’s house? Wait. Where is he?_

Just then Haechan walked in the room.

“Oh. H-hey hyung” Haechan stutters, he seems surprised to see Mark woke up already.

“Hi..” Mark felt his chest hurts again seeing that face.

“Feeling better yet? Want to eat or drink something?” Haechan walks closer to the couch.

“No, I’m good.” He diverts his eyes from Haechan’s.

“It’s okay if you want to stay here for a little while hyung. I’ve called your mom telling you were sleeping here last night.”

Mark’s eyes widen at that. _Oh shit._

“Don’t worry, I didn’t tell her that you were drunk. And you know that my mom was out of town again so she didn’t know about this either.” Haechan now sitting beside him on the couch.

Mark nodded at that “Uhm. Thanks.” Was all he could say. He still can’t look at Haechan in the eye. The images from last night still floating around in his head. He hated it. He can’t stand being this close to him. It hurts. Everything hurts.

“Hyung, last night-”

“I’ll leave now. Thank you. Sorry for bothering you.” He said while standing up, before starts walking hurriedly towards the door, not even looking back when Haechan called him.

 

Mark didn’t see Haechan for days after that and he still wonders why he felt so hurt that night.

\------

“Hey honey.. I didn’t see Haechan lately.. where is he? Are you two having a fight again?” his mom asked one day.

“No, we’re not fighting.”

“So.. why didn’t he come here lately? I’ve started to miss his cute laugh.” His mom smiled.

Mark didn’t know how to say this. “He.. he has someone now. I mean, I don’t know if it’s official yet, but I think he has a boyfriend. Maybe that’s why he didn’t come here so often now, maybe he’s busy with his boyfriend. Besides, the exam is coming too and I don’t have time to play.”

“Oh.” Was all his mom said as a respond to that.  
And Mark stay silent after that.

“Well this one seemed serious. Are you okay honey?”

“W-what? Why-”

“Well, he’s been crushing on you for so long. Are you okay that there’ll be no one chasing you around anymore?” His mom teased him.

“H-how did you know about that?”

“About what? Haechan having a crush on you? Oh, Mark.. he followed you around like you’re the most interesting thing in the world since he was little. You know that you’re not the most ‘exciting’ kid when you were little right?” His mom gave him a small smile just to let him know that she didn’t mean any harm by saying that. Mark admit it though. He was kinda.. awkward then. He still is now, but not as bad.

His mom speaks again. “I thought he even loved you. I never seen such a small kid is so happy and determined to be around someone so much in my life. Maybe I was wrong..”

“No, you’re not wrong. He.. confessed to me.”

“Really? So why is he with someone else now?”

“I…” Mark didn’t know what to say.

“I thought you liked him too? Oh, Mark.. You used your ‘second chance’ on him. You’ll never have that again.” 

“I know. It’s just.. He kinda ‘died’ because of me. Maybe I just felt so guilty, that I want to bring him back..?”

“Oh, baby. I don’t think it would happen if it’s just because of ‘guilt’. I think it doesn’t work like that.”

 _“Hyung.. I think I’m in love with you.”_ That voice suddenly crossed his mind.

He felt his heart throbbed. Suddenly the images from his past appeared again in his head, like when he was trying to remember something, the images played in his head in an order.

He saw the moment Haechan come to him that day after school, how he knew Haechan died and how broken he was then, how he long for him. How he beg for Haechan to come back to him. He replayed all that time again and what Haechan said before he left that one hurtful day get stuck in his mind. 

_“I know what I want hyung, I know my feelings. Try to ask yours.”_

_Is that how I felt about him too? Love?_

And there’s this one thing Haechan said at that time that crossed his mind too.

_“I’m still okay after all this time anyway.”_

_So he really had liked me for a long time now? Why didn’t I saw this earlier? Hell, even my mom noticed that, why didn’t I? Try to think about it all now I just feel so stupid._

There’re many thoughts filled his head that night, but one question stood out above all the others and made his heart clenched hard.

_He must’ve thought that I’m such an insensitive jerk now, right? What if he’s really done with me this time and decided to just stay with Yukhei?_

 

~~~

The way you expressed yourself  
I thought it was too much  
But now I miss it

I didn’t think much of your words  
I just passed them by  
Just once, I should’ve stood here  
And thought about it

Each and every word you said  
I turned away from and hurt you  
And pretended like nothing was wrong

Don’t leave

Whatever you want, I can handle it  
If I can tell you how much I love you  
I think I’ll go crazy, even crazier

To remember  
The beautiful us of the past  
It’s too hard for me right now  
I won’t make the same mistakes again so, please

Don’t leave

 

Block B – Don’t Leave

~~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter is longer than I expected lol
> 
> So.. I’d like to apologize beforehand if I take a long time to update the next chapter.. I think I’ll be super busy, especially nearing October.. Sorry :(
> 
> But I’ll try finishing the next chapters as fast as I can, so let’s just see. '^-^


	8. Beautiful Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mark and donghyuck grow up so much their 2018 duet is making me cry :””
> 
> That’s it. That’s the note. Love you all ❤

~~~

Ed Sheeran – Kiss Me

~~~

 

All Mark could see was Haechan, standing a few feet in front of him.

_His smile is so bright. He just looked so happy._

Mark saw Haechan waved his hand but Haechan was not looking at him. Frowned, Mark turns his head to look at who he was waving to and his heart dropped. _No, no._

Mark tried to stop Haechan from walking but as if he didn’t see him, Haechan just run past him and into Yukhei’s embrace. _No. This can’t be happening._

He then tried calling him. “Haechan-ah!!” but like before, as if he didn’t hear anything, Haechan just turned his body and started to walk away with Yukhei. They were smiling to each other. 

Mark chases them, he grabs Haechan’s hand as he gets close enough with him. The two stopped walking, he could see that Haechan had his head down, Mark couldn’t make out his expression. He wanted to ask Yukhei what was happening but as he looked in his direction, Yukhei was not there. He disappeared. Mark looked around but there was no sign of him, as if he was never there. He turned to look at Haechan again, his face still pointed downwards but now he had one of his hands, the one that’s not in Mark’s, covering his face. 

Haechan’s shoulders started to shake a little, Mark could hear sobs coming out of him. He could feel the hand that he was holding clenching. He let it go and he tried calling him again.

“Haechan-ah?” he cupped Haechan’s face and raised it. He never saw Haechan like this. He just looks so broken. His face is just full of tears, he looked like he was in so much pain. Mark felt his heart throbbed at the sight, he felt like crying too. 

“Don’t cry Haechan-ah.. please.. don’t cry.” Mark wiped the tears off his cheeks.

Haechan shakes his head and takes a step back. 

“It hurts, hyung” he said with a sob.

“What hurts? Who hurt you?” Mark tried taking a step closer to him but Haechan just takes a step back again.

Haechan looked into his eyes then, “You.”

 

Mark opened his eyes and he’s welcomed by darkness. He could still feel the tight feeling in his chest, his breath felt heavy. He tried taking a long breath and rubs his face. Then he sits up on his bed and runs his hand through his hair. _What kind of dream is that?_ He asks himself.

He just had so many thoughts after the talk he had with his mom that night and he just felt so bad. Why didn’t he notice it all before? How could he even doubt Haechan’s feelings for him? 

_“Don’t question my feelings hyung. I know what I felt.-”_

_No wonder he looked so hurt that day._

Looking back, Mark remembered how Haechan was always there with him, how they did stupid things together, how he changed little by little beside him, and how happy he was whenever Haechan was around. His life is never boring since the day he met Haechan that day on his door many years ago.

Through all these years, Mark didn’t really know when he started to stop getting annoyed with Haechan and when he started to actually enjoy his company. But now that he’s not around him, he started to feel the effect on him. It’s their first time to not actually see nor speak at all to each other for days like this. They had their bad fights before where they didn’t talk to each other too, but even that didn’t happen for that long. And that times didn’t feel this.. bad.

This time it just feels different. And to think about it, they don’t actually fight, well the last time they spook to each other it didn’t seem to be one, but he just didn’t have the guts to talk to him. He’s afraid that he would feel hurt again by just seeing his face like the last time. Haechan seemed to doesn’t have the will to do so too, as he didn’t hear anything from him either.

_Maybe I’m right. Maybe he’s just so busy with Yukhei around him now that he didn’t even think about talking to me._

_But.. I missed him. I wanna see that smile again._

 

_I had to talk to him._

\-----

Mark gathers his courage and goes to Haechan’s classroom the next morning, before the class starts.

But then as he gets close to his classroom, he saw Yukhei there, talking with Haechan in the hall, in front of his classroom.

_Of course he’s with him_. 

Mark turned his body right away. Call him a coward, but Mark just didn’t want to talk to him with Yukhei around. After that last ‘incident’ Mark didn’t know how he would act around the two, moreover when they’re together in school like this. He didn’t want to attract attention from their surroundings. 

Mark knows that everybody has been talking about what happened at the party, and what he just saw, just seemed to be confirming the existing rumor that was being thrown around the school for days now. 

_I still need to talk to him though, Yukhei’s boyfriend or not. That doesn’t matter right now._

 

Mark tried again after the lunch break. The bell hasn’t rang yet, he tried going to Haechan’s classroom again and he’s lucky that there’s no Yukhei with him this time, just Jaemin, and they’re about to enter the classroom.

“Haechan-ah” he called.

Haechan turned his head to look at him “H-hyung?” he looks surprised.

“I’m going first.” Jaemin said to Haechan, then turned to Mark. “Bye hyung!”

Mark nodded at Jaemin with a small smile, and Jaemin smiled back at him before he left. He assumed that all of the dreamies know what happened at the party by now, and they know that the two didn’t talk after the party. Hell, usually they hang together almost everyday, of course they know something happened. 

He looked back at Haechan again.

“Why is your face like that?” Mark chuckled looking at the face Haechan’s making. He looked so tense.

“Uhm? Uh.. it’s nothing.” Haechan’s now looking down at the floor.

“Hey.” 

“Y-yeah?” Haechan raised his head again, meets his eyes for a brief second before looking away again.

“You’re free later after school?” Mark just wanted to make sure that Haechan doesn’t have a date or something with Yukhei later.

“Uhm.. I’m free after school, but I promised Jaemin that we’ll do our project later tonight. Why hyung?”

“Don’t worry, this won’t take a long time. Remember that café on the corner?”

“Uhm?” Haechan frowned.

“The one where I take cover from the rain before you came and save the day.” Mark said dramatically, trying to lighten up the mood and maybe make Haechan felt less tense. It worked.

“Oh. That. Yeah..” Haechan smiled a little. Mark could see that his confidence is coming back.

“I saved you that day, huh?” he continued.

“You know, I think I get the situation under control already, I thought I would just wait for the rain to stop. But yeah, you did came offering the umbrella so why not?” Mark shrugs.

“Yeah, yeah whatever.” Haechan grinned then. “So. What about that café?”

“It actually looked kinda nice. I want to check it out. Wanna come?”

“Look at you. Asking for my help again. Just tell me that you don’t want to go there alone and looked stupid by yourself.” Haechan rolled his eyes, still grinning.

Mark really wants to wipe that smug look from his face right now. _I can't believe this kid, really.._  

“You wanna come or not?” Mark ended up asking, didn’t want to feed Haechan’s ego any longer. 

“Hm..” Haechan made a face like he was thinking really hard while rubbing his chin. _That’s it._

Mark ruffled his hair then, chuckled. “Meet me outside the gate after school okay?” then he left to his own class, just in time as the bell rings, but not before stealing a glance at Haechan who’s fixing his hair, trying to hold back a smile with a pout on his face. Seeing that, Mark didn’t know why but he just felt.. contended. He shakes his head, trying to get rid of the smile from his face. People were giving him weird looks as he passed by, looking at him smiling to himself.

\-----

“So.. you’re not mad at me anymore?” Haechan asked as they sit on their table, waiting for their drinks.

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“Well, you told me not to come to that party and I still came anyway.. I thought you’re mad, and that’s why you’re not talking to me after that day.”

Mark frowned. _So he thought I was mad at him? Because of that?_

Haechan then continued quietly “Well I have my reasons to come to that party..”

_Is it because of Yukhei?_ Mark couldn’t help but wonder in his head, he felt his heart clenched a little. _No. We’re not talking about that now._

“No, I’m not mad because of that.” Mark stopped. _Wait. That would just lead to more questions_. “Well. Actually, I’m not mad at all. I’ve just been busy.”

“Really hyung?”

“Yeah. So why don’t we just talk about something else?”

It’s been a long time since they really talked like this. Mark just felt so relieved to saw that bright smile again. He never knew he could admit it to himself that he really liked that smile. Like, really really liked it.

They just talk and talk about everything. Well except about that night and Yukhei. Mark is glad that Haechan never bring him up throughout their talk. He didn’t know how he would react if Haechan ever did that.

\-----

Mark never felt this happy walking home from school. They were throwing jokes at each other and just laugh together. It’s just like that party never happened in the first place, like they just get back to how they used to, except now Mark just feels a bit different. He noticed that something happened inside him.

 

They are in front of Haechan’s house now, Haechan just told another joke and they’re laughing again, but this time Mark couldn’t stop himself from grabbing Haechan’s face and squeezed it. _He’s just so cute_. 

Haechan tried shaking his head, his hands on Mark’s, trying to pry Mark’s hands away, he moved his mouth, trying to protest but of course he couldn’t, with Mark’s hands still pressing on his cheeks. Mark glanced down at those moving lips for a second and regrets it. Now his head is full of thoughts he never knew existed in him before. 

He just feels his body leans closer. 

Haechan stopped moving then, but his hands are still on Marks, he’s grabbing them now.

Mark’s eyes now focused on that lips, it’s just getting closer and closer.

“Hey guys..”

Mark pulls his body back abruptly, surprised.

“I hate to break it down to you, maybe you guys weren’t aware about it but you guys are on the side of a road, which is not a problem for me, but you’re kinda in the way.. I’d rather be inside than standing here watching you guys sucking faces out in the open, which is once again, not a problem for me.”

Mark knew this voice. _Damn it._

Mark turned his head to look at this newcomer and there he is, Jaemin, standing in all his glory with a stupid grin on his face. “I’m really sorry for interrupting guys.” Jaemin faced Haechan then, with his hand in front of him. “Key?” he then asked.

Haechan didn’t say anything and just gave him the key.

“Thank you. I’ll be inside. Please, proceed.” He then winked at them before walking past them and into the house.

Mark looked back at Haechan. _Well this is going to be awkward._

“You should go in now.” Mark said quickly.

“I should.” Haechan nodded, glancing at him for a brief second before turning his body and starts walking away. 

\-----

Mark never realized how he adore Haechan before. Or when he started to notice the little things Haechan do. How he’s always positive about everything, how he’s always just so bright, the way his eyes would turn into crescent when he smiles, and that cute nose would scrunched a little when he laughs, that cute laugh, that sweet voice, that love shaped lips. He’s just so.. lovely. 

He admits that Haechan makes his heart skips a beat not only once, but so many times already. He thought it all just some spur of the moment thing, he never really think about it. But looking back at it now, Mark realized that he never think about anyone else the way he thinks about Haechan. How he just unconsciously smiled whenever he thinks about him. How he felt all giddy everytime their skin touches.

Haechan is not that little boy who followed Mark everywhere anymore, he’s all grown up now and Mark is a little late to notice this because they’re always together so he never really see the changes, but now when he takes time to really look at him, he has to admit that Haechan is beautiful. And try to think about it, he notices that those bright smiles starts to make his heart beats faster, he felt warm inside. Now everytime he sees that smile, he would like to run his hands through that soft looking hair, he wanted to caress that cute little face in his hands and maybe give him a kiss or two. 

Mark never knew he had it in him to even think about doing these things with Haechan. He never really thought about it before. But after that afternoon he almost did it, he can’t get the thoughts of it out of his head.

_What am I thinking? He’s with Yukhei now. How could I even think of doing ‘that’. It’s not right._

_I had to talk to him and get things straight. Ugh, it’ll be awkward._

\-----

“Hey guys.” Mark tried going to the place where Haechan and his friends used to hang at lunch the next day. But then he noticed that Haechan is not with them. “Where’s Haechan?” those words just slipped out of his mouth.

“He’s with Yukhei hyung.” Jaemin answered. Mark turned and looked at Jaemin, who’s already looking at him with wiggled eyebrows. _Ugh, this dumbo._

“Yes, Yukhei hyung came by earlier and took him away from us.” Chenle agreed, pouting.

_Oh_. _Right_. Mark just nodded at that. He tried keeping his face straight. 

_I forgot about him._

“Okay then.. I.. have to go.” Mark said.

\-----

He lied on his bed that night after a shower, just thinking, as usual. He was just so into his own thoughts that he didn’t hear the bell rings. He only snapped out of his thoughts when someone knocked on his bedroom door.

“Yeah?” he answered and then the door opened not long after that.

“Hyung..” 

_Haechan?_

“Haechan-ah?” He stands up from his bed, surprised. Well, he’s not expecting Haechan to come to his house today.

“Hi hyung.” He gave Mark a small smile, while walking into the room.

“Hi..?” Mark didn’t know what to say. He’s been wanting to meet Haechan this whole day but he didn’t expect this visit and he’s just still so flustered about what happened the last time they were together. It is save to say that his mind’s a mess right now. “Uhm.. so.. you met my mom on the way here?” _Well that sounds kinda stupid. Of course he met mom. Who else was opening the door for him?_ “She asked about you all the time. She must be very happy to see you here again.” He added quickly.

Haechan smiled wider and nodded “Yeah! She squeezed me so hard I think I broke a few bones.” Haechan said playfully, then added. “I missed her.”

Mark chuckled a little at that. “Believe me she missed you too.” Mark didn’t know where he got all this sudden courage from but then he continued “I missed you too.”

He could see Haechan’s eyes widen after hearing what he just said.

“Anyways, why are you here?” Mark tried to change the subject.

“I.. uhm.. Jaemin said you were looking for me earlier? He said it’s important?” Haechan said quietly.

_Fuck that dumbo._ Mark thought. 

“Uhm? Uh.. yeah?”

Mark could see that Haechan was trying not to meet his eyes, he just fixed his eyes on the floor. 

“What is it hyung?” he asked.

“It’s.. nothing, actually. I just didn’t see you with your friends so I was curious about your whereabouts and I heard you were with Yukhei.” he doesn’t want to sound bitter but he did.

Haechan nodded. “Yukhei hyung confessed to me today.” He then said out of the blue.

Mark felt his heart stopped beating for a second there.   
 _Wait_. _So he just confessed now? I thought they were a thing already?_

“Oh? I thought you guys are together already?”

“No, no. We’re not like that” Haechan shaked his head frantically and glanced at Mark before looking down again.

_God, what’s he being so cute for?_ Mark tried holding back from patting his head. “So.. what did you say to him?”

“I..” Haechan started as he walked closer to Mark. “I told him no.”

“Why..?”

“Because I.. love someone else.” Haechan said as he raised his head and finally locked eyes with Mark, now standing in front of him. Mark could feel his heart pounding in his chest.

Looking at those eyes, there are so much things going on in Mark’s mind. Mark glanced down at those lips then looked up again at those eyes. _Can I do that? Is that really okay now? He was talking about me, right? But.. what if-_ he cuts his own thoughts then, _-ugh fuck it_.

He leans in and closes his eyes, one of his hand moves to Haechan’s back and stays there. He heard Haechan gasps as their lips touched. 

He did it. He finally did it. He kissed Haechan. Well, it’s just their lips barely touching but still. This makes him feel this weird feeling inside, but it’s a good feeling though. He wonders if he could go further but he has to make sure that Haechan didn’t mind about this first.

He put his hands on each side of Haechan’s face, pulled away a little while rubbing his cheeks, then opened his eyes again. 

Haechan is smiling, his eyes are still closed. Mark couldn’t help but smile too.

“Hey..” Mark whispered and Haechan opened his eyes, looking at him straight in the eyes with his sparkling ones.

Now that Mark recognizes his feelings, this all just feels.. right. The kiss feels right. Just Haechan’s presence near him feels right. 

But then Mark just had to look down at those lips again and he remembered why he pulled away in the first place. Those lips were just so soft and made him feel these weird pleasant feeling in his chest, Mark needed more of it. 

“Can I?” he asked quietly.

Haechan nodded almost immediately and that’s all Mark needed.

He leaned in again then, circling his hands around Haechan’s body, and this time Haechan put his arms around Mark’s shoulder, pulling them even closer to each other.

_I could get used to this_. Mark thought, smiling to himself.

\-----

“So what made you change your mind hyung?”

They’re now laying on Mark’s bed, just enjoying each other’s warmth after the so-many-kissing-session they had, before they decided then that they need to stop to actually talk about things first. “I never changed it. I just finally made up my mind. I realized that you mean so much to me and as cliché as this sounded, I never want to live without you. Be it just as a friend or more than that, damn I wanted more, we are more than friends now, right?” Mark just felt so lightheaded right now he didn’t even think before he speak, the words just flowed out of his mouth. These feelings make him feel like he isn’t himself. He’s not surprised to saw Haechan raised his eyebrows at what he just said but he had a smile so bright on his face so Mark didn’t think that what he said was a mistake or something like that.

“Well yeah, obviously” Haechan chuckled.

Mark smiled at that, running his hand through Haechan’s hair. “But anyway, I just want to have you in my life. I don’t want to lose you.” _Again_. 

He pressed their foreheads together then, his hand on the back of Haechan’s head, caressing his hair, keeping him close.

“I’m sorry I took so long to say it but..” he leaned away just so he could looked into Haechan’s eyes properly and continued “I love you. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that. I didn’t realize that I always felt like this with you. But then I realized that I never feel like this with anyone else. It’s only you. I felt so stupid now, knowing that I was just afraid to admit it to myself. And hurt you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay hyung.. I was hurt, a little. But I know it’s hard for you to show your feelings. I understand that.” Haechan rubs his thumb on Mark’s cheek. “So.. now you’re ready to show your feelings to me hyung?”

“I’ll try.” Mark nodded. “I need to. I got a lot of troubles for not showing it all this time” he chuckled. “I even thought you’ve done with me and moved on to Yukhei or something.”

“No, hyung. I just thought that I had to act like nothing happened because I thought that would make you feel better. Like, I don’t want to make you feel bad for not returning my feelings and make everything awkward between us. I don’t want that. I don’t want you to keep a distance from me more than you already did. And about Yukhei hyung.. I just think about him as a really good friend. He’s really nice to me.”

“That’s why you wanted to go to that party so bad?” Mark tried asking with a teasing tone. _No. I can’t be jealous right now. Control it Mark._

“Well I wanted to go to that party because.. I kinda wanted to keep my eyes on you. I didn’t want to let you go to that party alone and got.. you know, hooked or something with those senior girls I knew had been targeting you.”

Mark frowned. “Girls? What girls?”

“You don’t have to know about them hyung. The truth is, I know you won’t be interested in them but they’re so into you I’m just afraid they would do anything to maybe.. get close to you. It’s a party for god’s sake. And you would just let them do it.. you’re always like that.”

“Hey, says the one who left me and went to ‘dance’ with Yukhei.” Mark teased.

“Hyuung I didn’t mean to do that. Well.. you didn’t look so happy to see me there, well obviously, you didn’t want me to go there, I know, so I thought maybe staying away from you for a bit would be good. But then I kinda.. got carried away.”

Mark didn’t realize his expression changed until he heard Haechan stutters. “N-no! It’s not because I like Yukhei hyung. Trust me. I don’t have feelings for him hyung.” Haechan rubbed Mark’s forehead softly with his thumbs, trying to get rid of the frown on Mark’s face.

Mark chuckled at that. “Yeah, but he clearly had feelings for you.”

“I admit that was my bad. I didn’t act fast enough. But I pulled away from him as soon as I realized what happened. He said that he was sorry and that he got a little carried away because he was a bit drunk at that time. After that I tried looking for you but I couldn’t find you inside that packed house so I just went home. I tried calling you when I got home but your phone was off so I thought maybe you’re mad at me or something. But then you showed up in front of my house hours after that, drunk. What happened hyung?”

“Well it’s kinda stupid but I don’t really know what happened after.. you know.. I saw that.”

“You saw what happened?!”

He caressed Haechan's cheek. “Well, yeah.. Honestly that’s why I couldn’t talk to you after that party. It was hard for me to even looked at you. That was the first time I felt so.. hurt.” _Beside seeing you die._

Haechan leaned closer and kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry hyung. I didn’t mean all that to happened.” 

“No, you don’t have to say sorry. I’m the one letting things went that way. Besides, it’s all in the past now. Let’s just think about the future from now on.” He smiled at Haechan, which he returns with such a bright one. That smile which never failed to make Mark’s heart beats faster. He leans closer to peck Haechan on the lips before pulling him closer, hugging him, as he puts a hand behind Haechan’s head, his fingers played with his hair.

“I’m so happy..” Haechan said, his voice muffled as he snuggled his face against Mark’s chest.

Mark could feel his heart swelled with so much affection right now, he just squeezed Haechan as hard as he can. Even holding him this close doesn’t feel enough for him.

 

In all that mess of thoughts and feelings Mark’s having that night, he remembered one thing.

_Maybe I should say thank you to that dumbo called Jaemin after all._

 

~~~

Since when has it been? I can't remember..  
When my head became dizzy with thoughts of you  
Once or twice, these thoughts would pop up in my mind  
I feel anxious as my heart opens more towards you

Is it love? If you feel the same way, is it the beginning?  
My heart keeps saying it loves you  
It yells until the whole world can hear  
Why has it taken so long for me to hear it?  
We've finally met, Love has found us right now

 

Eric Nam & Cheeze – Perhaps Love

~~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually, I wanted to end this here but meh, I’ll just post one more chapter just for the sake of it ㅋㅋㅋ
> 
> Happy sunday people~! ^-^♡


	9. Smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. I just had to add this sappy chapter here ㅋㅋㅋ 
> 
> *when I told you it’s sappy, it IS sappy, so read at your own risk! :) ♡
> 
> Anyways, enjoy~!

~~~

Coldplay - Miracles

~~~

 

It’s Saturday and the dreamies decided to hang out outside today, just so the seniors in the group get to relax and freshen up a bit before their final exams next week. 

They decided to meet up at Haechan’s house that morning, and of course Mark gets there first, while Jeno picks up the rest of the group.

It’s only been two days since Mark and Haechan agreed that they’re more than ‘friends’ now, they’re still trying to get used to this new condition. But Mark’s enjoying every second of it though.

“Hey.. morning hyung” Haechan said when he opened the door, smiling.

“Morning baby” Mark said, returning the smile, but then he cringed at that new word he was using and he could see Haechan did the same too, and as he looks at that face Haechan’s making, Mark couldn’t hold the laugh in. “pfft”

Haechan chuckled at that too. “We have to work on that.” He said.

“No kidding.” Mark shakes his head, grinning.

Haechan then steps closer to him and just stand there, with a smile on his face. “What?” Mark chuckles. 

Haechan just smiled even wider so Mark asks again. “What is it?” 

“Do I have to ask for it? We’ve talked about this yesterday.” Haechan asked, or more like, whined, while grabbing the shirt on Mark’s sides. 

“About what?” Mark asked again, as he steps closer to Haechan, still grinning.

Haechan squinted his eyes. “You know what? I don’t want it anymore.” Then he lets go of Mark’s shirt, and takes a step back into the house. “Come in” he said, as he turned his body and walked further into the house.

Mark steps inside the house, close the door behind him, open his shoes, then he speed-walks until he reach Haechan and grabs his wrist, making him stop walking.

But Haechan turned his body then, surprising him, and just kiss him on the lips. He pulled away not long after that, and their eyes meet, his hand still in Mark’s. Mark felt something just shifted in him.

“So that’s it?” Mark asked, smirking, despite the hard beating of his heart, half because of the surprising move earlier and half because of the anticipation of what’s coming next.

“Is that a challenge?” Haechan asked.

“Maybe.”

Then Haechan just pulls him by the front of his shirt and kissed him square on the lips again. Mark grinned into the kiss, then starts moving his lips too, returning the kiss, before “mmh-!” Haechan just bit hard on his upper lip and starts pulling it. Mark heard him chuckling at his reaction.

 _Oh it’s on._ Mark thought.

He grabs Haechan by the waist with one hand and his other hand pressed against the back of Haechan’s head, pulling him close and just hold him there, making sure he’s not going anywhere. He licks Haechan’s lips then, before entering his mouth. He heard Haechan gasped and only then he noticed Haechan’s hands that were on his chest, had moved up to grab on to his shoulders, as if hanging onto him for dear life. He could feel Haechan’s tongue moves too then, and this is what he’s been waiting for. 

“Ouch!” Haechan pushed him a little so that they could break the kiss off and then he hits Mark’s shoulder playfully. “Hyung why did you bite me?” he whined while trying to catch his breath.

“It’s not even that hard. And you started biting first so..”

“You’re the one challenging me.”

“But I didn’t ask to be bitten”

“Well you teased me so that’s in for you.” 

Mark laughs loudly then “You just looked so cute like that-“ 

“Did you just say ‘cute’?” Haechan cuts him.

“Oh shut up.” He leans in to kiss him again but Haechan stops him by pushing his chest. 

Mark raised his eyebrows, confused, but then Haechan said “properly this time” he warned, and Mark just laughs at that, before feeling their lips touching again.

 

“You had breakfast yet?” Haechan asked as they walk into the kitchen, where Mark could faintly smell something nice in the air.

They finally decided to stop playing around before the others get there and saw them all messy and then get hysterical or something. They didn’t know about this ‘thing’ yet. 

“I just had some toast earlier.” He looks around the kitchen, searching for the source of that nice smell.

“Want some pancakes? I have some earlier and I’m making some more for the dumbos, they must want to eat first before going.”

“Sure” Mark nodded and followed him, but then Haechan stopped him.

“Just sit there hyung, I got this.” He smiled.

Mark sits on the counter, watching his every move. He never knew Haechan could be this serious and in the same time enjoying himself while doing something like this. 

“Since when you can make pancakes?” he asked as Haechan puts his pancakes on the table.

“Oh, hyung. What do you think I ate when my mom was out of town?”

“I don’t know.. cereals?”

“That, too. But one’s tend to get sick of eating the same thing every morning you know.” Haechan grinned at him. “I learned a few things.” He then said, with such a smug look on his face.

“Yeah just lemme try it first and then we can talk.” Mark pokes his sides and Haechan jerked, giggling, as he grabs Mark’s hands to stop him.

 

Mark just finished eating his pancakes when the bell rings.

“I got it” Haechan said and runs to the door.

“GOOD MORNING DUMBOS!” Mark heard Jeno’s voice bombing through the house not long after that.

“I SMELL PANCAKES!” Chenle shouts.

“Be quiet! His mom might be home!” Renjun shushed them.

Mark comes out of the kitchen and joined the others at the living room.

“No, she is not. And yes, there’re pancakes back there” He said, pointing back at the kitchen.

“Oh, hey Mark. Did you make the pancakes?” Jeno asked.

“No, Haechan made it.” 

“This kid? You’re kidding right?” Jaemin asked while pointing at Haechan.

“Hey! What does that mean! Hyung tell them!” Haechan grabs Mark’s arm then.

Mark chuckled and circled an arm around Haechan’s waist. “Actually, yes, I made it.”

“Hyung!” Haechan hits his chest playfully.

“Ow!” Mark laughed then, while rubbing the part where he got hit. “Yes, Haechan made it. Just eat it, okay? We got to get going.”

But he didn’t hear any answer after that, instead he’s faced with raised eyebrows and grins. Mark then realized the situation they’re in. _Oh_.

Jaemin is the first to speak up. “Okay. Can someone tell me, what is going on here?” He asked, smirking, while pointing at Mark and Haechan.

“What?” Haechan tries to hold back a grin.

“Is this what I think it is? Is this real? Tell me this is real.” Renjun grabs Jeno’s arm.

“It is, right? Fucking finally!” Jeno sighed.

“My heart hurts because of you two. Oh, finally it could rest from hurting now, oh god.” Chenle said dramatically while wiping his face, pretending to be crying.

“So is this official now?” Jisung said, looking up from the pancakes he has been eating. Nobody knows when he even get the pancakes from the kitchen.

Looking at their faces, Mark didn’t say anything and just shrugs, still grinning. 

“Oh, come on. Somebody needs to say something.” Jaemin said.

“Well what do you guys think this is?” Haechan then asked while pointing at Mark’s hand that’s still around his waist with a smug look on his face.

And there starts the screaming.

 

\-----

\--- Months later ---

 

The bell rings.

Haechan goes to open the door.

 _Who is it? The dumbos didn’t tell me if they’re going to come here today._ Haechan thought to himself.

He just opens the door without much thinking then, but as soon as he opens it, before he could even see who it was, someone hugs him. _What the-_ he starts panicking, his heart’s beating faster, he struggles, tried freeing himself from this person’s hold, but then he catch a familiar scent. _Wait_. And he heard a very familiar chuckle. _I know this person._

“Hyung?!”

He heard him laugh then.

Haechan pulls himself away from Mark, he just wants to see his face and make sure it’s really him, because actually, he’s not supposed to be back now. He can’t believe he’s really here.

“Hyung?! Why didn’t you tell me you’re coming home today?”

“I want to surprise you of course.”

Haechan wanted to nag about this pleasant surprise but before he could even open his mouth to speak, Mark just hugs him again. “I miss you” He said as he snuggled his face on Haechan’s neck. Haechan could feel his breath on his neck, he get shivers from it.

“O..kay?” he returned the hug, but then Haechan realized that they’re still at his door. “Uhm.. hyung. Maybe we should come inside first?”

Mark nodded but he didn’t let him go, he just pushed his body as he take a step forward, bringing Haechan with him, then kicks the door closed with his feet.

“Hyung..?”

“Just. Stay like this for a moment. Please.” Mark said quietly, his face is still buried in the crook of Haechan’s neck.

“You miss me that much huh?” Haechan asked teasingly.

“You had no idea.” Mark tighten the hug.

Haechan raised his eyebrows at that. _Well. I didn’t expect that answer._ Haechan thought.

Mark let him go after a few minutes, just to cup his face and caress it. He looked at his face carefully, like he was trying to print every detail of his face in his brain, then run his hands through Haechan’s hair, and then cups his face again, rubbing his thumbs on Haechan’s cheeks. 

“Wha-”

“Is your mom home?” Mark asked suddenly.

“No..? She’s at wor-” Haechan didn’t get to finish his sentence as Mark just leans in then and kiss him.  
This kiss felt really soft and tender, they move slowly, like they owned all the time in the world. They haven’t meet each other for months and this feeling they’re having right now as they hold each other like this, is one of the many things they missed from each other. The feeling of being wanted, needed. The feeling of being complete.

He could feel one of Mark’s hand slipped around his waist, pulling him closer, so he circled his arms around Mark’s neck and tilt his head a little, deepening the kiss. He finds Mark’s other hand that was caressing his cheek softly now moved to the side of his neck, his fingers pulling on the hair on the back of his head. Haechan felt shivers run down his back. With that sensation and the thumping of his heart right now, Haechan starts to feel lightheaded and out of breath, he grabs Mark’s shoulders and tried to subtly push him, he need to breathe. Good thing Mark pulled away then.

“This is bad..” Mark said after he pulls away. 

“What is?” Haechan tried asking between heavy breaths. 

“You. I’m going crazy because of you. I never knew I could be this clingy. Ugh, I’m getting pissed at myself. I miss you so much you don’t know how miserable I was there, alone.” He hugs him again then.

“I miss you too” Haechan chuckled, wrapping his arm around Mark again.

“I’m going to stick to you while I’m here, just letting you know.” Mark said quietly.

“Well. I’m going to enjoy every second of it.” Haechan smiled to himself.

\-----

Mark did say that he would stick to him, but Haechan didn’t think he meant that literally. 

They eat lunch at the mall that day, and after that they just walk around the mall, then they stop and try this one new drink that was so popular among Haechan's friends at school. The line is just so long but Haechan insist on trying this drink, but then turns out that they didn’t like it and just throw it away. 

And in all that time, Mark always has his hand on him. Whether it on his hands, around his shoulder, in his hair on the back of his head, around his waist, Mark just always find a way to touch him. To keep him within his reach. Haechan’s not complaining though. He just thinks about if it was Mark from one year ago, he would never do these kind of things. But look at him now. Haechan just feel this warmth inside his chest everytime these thoughts come to the surface.

\-----

They were about to get out of the mall when they meet Yukhei.

“Haechan-ah!” He called Haechan. Mark could feel his body tensed at the sound of that voice. The last time he saw Yukhei is at the graduation ceremony, and even after their ‘problem’ was sorted, he still felt a bit uncomfortable around Yukhei. Now is no different.

Mark knows that Yukhei is not a bad person, it’s just, seeing him brings back the not-so-pleasant memories. Mark is not good at forgetting these kind of things.

“Heeyy it’s been a long time!” Yukhei said as he get to where they are.

“Yeah, how are you doing hyung?” Haechan give him a small smile.

“Great! Life’s great!” then he nodded his head at Mark. “‘sup Mark. Ohoo I see you two are still together.” He said while wiggling his eyebrows.

 _What does he mean by that?_ Mark thought irritatedly.

Mark could tell that Haechan noticed the changing of his mood as he then laughed awkwardly. 

“Haha.. of course hyung. Uhmm.. what are you doing here by the way?” he asked. Mark could feel that Haechan’s hold in his hand tighten, and he rubs his thumb on the back of his hand, as if trying to calm him down. It worked, Mark felt a bit relaxed by that.

“Oh.. I was just looking for some stuff, while waiting for someone.” Yukhei answered.

Just then a man walk up to them. “Yukhei” the man grabs Yukhei’s arm.

“Heey there you are!” Yukhei pecked the man’s forehead. “Let me introduce you guys. Jungwoo, this is Haechan and Mark, they’re my friends from highschool, guys, this is Jungwoo, my boyfriend.”

“Hello, nice to meet you” Haechan said, giving him a smile.

“Nice to meet you.” Jungwoo said to both of them.

Mark just give him a smile and a nod. He’s not trying to be rude, he’s just not in the mood to talk right now.

“We have to go now.” Jungwoo said then to Yukhei.

“Oh, okay. Sorry guys, but we have to get going.” Yukhei said while wrapping his arm around Jungwoo’s shoulder.

“No, it’s okay hyung.” Haechan said.

“See you guys around.” Yukhei said as he ruffled Haechan’s hair before walking away. Mark clenched his fist at that.

 

“Hyung?” Haechan tried to call Mark but he seems to be caught on his thoughts. They have arrived at Haechan’s house now and already standing in front of his door.

Haechan caressed Mark’s face with both hands, making him face him and tries again. “Hyung?”

Mark noticed him now as their eyes meet. “Huh?”

“What were you thinking so seriously about? Wanna come in?” 

“Uhm? Uh, it’s nothing..” 

Haechan didn’t wait for Mark to answer his second question as he just pulls Mark inside his house.

“Hyung.. Please talk to me. I didn’t know what’s wrong if you didn’t tell me.”

“Yukhei..” Mark started but then he change his mind “Never mind.” Mark said and diverts his eyes from Haechan’s.

“Hyung.” Haechan called him softly, as he pulls his face so that he meets his eyes again. “I’m yours. You don’t need to worry about that.”

Mark sighed then, letting the thoughts that has been disturbing him to go away “Okay, right. I’m sorry. I’m just so pissed that he touched you.”

“Wow, jealous much?” Haechan teased him, but then Mark just couldn’t stop himself and he kissed him.

“You’re mine.” He said when he pulled away, he’d like to confirm it to himself.

“I am yours.” Haechan said, and Mark could see the sincerity in his eyes as he nodded while caressing Mark’s face, rubbing his thumb on his cheek. 

Mark wraps his hands around Haechan’s waist then, holding him close.

Mark once thought that he doesn’t like loud kids, they’re annoying, he said. 

But try to think about it now, he’s been surrounded by them for as long as he could remember and that’s what makes his life much more colorful. He realized that he doesn’t really mind loud kids now, he even loved one of them, this person who has the brightest smile he has ever seen.

He felt so grateful. He asked for a miracle, and though he still couldn’t believe it even until now, it really happened. He’s just really really glad that he didn’t ruin his second chance and missed his once in a lifetime opportunity to have this lovely person in his embrace.

“I love you.” 

Is all Mark needs to say to make this person smile again.

That smile. Mark just really love that bright smile.

 

\-----

Alright. So I’m just gonna end this here :)

 

Thank you so much for reading and supporting this story by giving kudos and comments, I really appreciate all of it. You guys are amazing! ❤ ㅠ^ ㅠ 

And I had to say this. The comments! Thank you so so much for sharing your kind words- and sometimes witty ㅋㅋ- with me, those are my mood booster tbh I’m really happy everytime I read it ^-^

 

You can find me on twt, but I make this acc to be a fangirling acc and literally my rant acc so.. lol. [@meblue06](https://twitter.com/meblue06?s=09) . There. ‘ㅅ’

Hope we can be mutuals :* ❤

 

And uhm.. I made a playlist of the songs that I mentioned in this story. Actually I made it for myself at first, because the songs really build the feels for me, so I’d like to listen to them when I wrote, and sometimes when I want to sleep too lol. So [here](https://open.spotify.com/user/15do8p6jxzu0huv1wqdje535k/playlist/7zb0ry0FomsuAGHFtV8WqS?si=q_mOuIoaS5KaSKaMgIdArQ), if you would like to listen to the songs! >~<


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